Finding the Perfect Church

My parents did not (and still don't) go to church. As a child, I sometimes went to mass with my cousins-most of my dad's side is Catholic. Those were my earliest memories of being inside a church. I used to think the Catholic Church in our hometown, St. Anthony's Church, was a beautiful place. It had stained glass windows, wooden pews, organ music, and a priest looking regal in robes. Communion consisted of real red wine and small pieces of bread...we children didn't take communion yet. At the same time though, the services were long, and for us kids it meant sitting in back and coloring. Yep, coloring. We just had to pay attention to the calisthenics so that we didn't look as obvious, sit, kneel, stand....the only church with an included exercise plan along with your sermon! I don't remember understanding most of what was said in mass, but I remember it both being scary and beautiful to me. 

In high school I became more interested in finding God, and I went to a handful of different churches, tagging along with friends. Some were okay, one was way too evangelical for my liking, and I also signed up to go with a handful of my friends to Church Camp.  I actually really enjoyed it. Something about hiking in the woods, staying  in cabins, and talking about God over a campfire, made Him seem much more real to me. Also around my high school years, my uncle's mom passed away. My uncle is Japanese (married to my dad' sister), and his family is Buddhist. His mother's funeral was held in a Buddhist temple, and I was taken with how gloriously peaceful, simple and lovely the place was. There was even a garden outside that you could sit in. I also visited a Mormon church and a dance with a friend in high school. I bet you would think it was uncomfortable, but it was nice, the people were so welcoming and friendly and not the least bit pushy. 

My ex-husband enjoyed Pentecostal churches. He likes the preacher being on fire for his message, the music, and even the speaking in tongues. We were married by a Pentecostal pastor, and attended a church in Manteca for about a year before moving to Oregon. It was not the best experience. I had never been a faithful church goer, a habit that is still, admittedly, very hard for me...and he wasn't great at it either. We liked the church and were part of a married class, but whenever we missed (about once a month because we wanted to sleep in or go somewhere else), we knew that we would have messages on our phone, asking where we had been. We both hated that. In Oregon, I went to church for awhile with my aunt and uncle, and their church was nice, non-denominational, and had beautiful outside services in the summer. Then, I found a church in our town, and attended it for the next 1 1/2 years,  a Baptist Church. I was baptized there at age 21. I went alone almost always, as Greg was working nights and weekends. I enjoyed the church, and the way I felt, but I never really got involved or made any friends. When Greg's schedule changed we would then attend the First Assembly of God Church in the next town over, and did so for almost 2 years and then another 6 months or so later on when we decided to go back. It was huge, and you could decide just how involved you wanted to be. 

Then I attended the Nazarene church in town prior to and just after our divorce. Great kids program, but I never really felt anything all the time that I went, and that bothered me a lot. Barrett and I have checked out a church that claims to be the church for those that dislike church. The music was great, but the people? Not that friendly. I know, that I am one of the disliked brand of church-hoppers, but it is only because I am trying to find something that has meaning for me and fits a myriad of other wants for my family. Barrett's goal is that the church not make him rather shove bamboo shoots under his fingernails. His words, not mine. My personal church wish list goes as follows (and some churches I went to had a few of these aspects, then lacked others...and that's how I know they matter to me.):

• Friendliness is welcome.
•  If I am visiting, you should direct me in the right places. 
• You may extend any event invitations.
•  I should not feel ignored.
• Pushiness is not welcome.
•  Do not pressure me.
•  Do not call me if I miss. 
• Let me know how I can be involved, but do not guilt it out of me. 
• (I would like a certain level of involvement, in something I am good at. Do not think because I have kids, that I should help with children's programs of nursery care! One church actually guilted me into this because I was using the service!! I would've been much better help just about anywhere else, and frankly I'd rather join Barrett with the bamboo! Just because I like my own children does not mean I am good with others!)
• Have a great children's program.
• Good music for me is a must.
• Teach me. I am there to learn, but not to be judged. 
• Have a clean, peaceful atmosphere. 
• Refreshments are good.
• Teach about life application. 
• Ever been to a church a few times and felt like you were hearing re-runs? But...we talked about the lady at the well last week. Oh, this is okay if it is an ongoing story, but just like in a classroom, things need to be changed up and dare I say it? They need to be made relevant to the congregation.
•  Tell us why this story matters to us, and how it applies. 

I am not sure the perfect church exists...but I am set to find one that works for all members of my family. So, now I leave you to go shower and get myself ready for my first church visit in all too long! Hopefully no bamboo will be needed. Have a great Sunday!