In 2014

It's that time of year when everyone starts thinking of ways that they can be better in the year to come. Does the New Year refresh you? It does me, and for me it has double meaning in that every New Year's Day I celebrate another birthday. I have always been one for a resolution or two for the upcoming year, have you? I think that many people are drawn to this time of year because it gives us a chance to start over, at least symbolically, and I know that everyone could use a fresh start now and then. In my head, I even tend to take things to the extreme-I ask myself if I could move somewhere I have never been (with my family of course!) and start fresh, what would matter to me? Is it sad how appealing that idea can be at times? Do any of you readers ever have that same thought?

I turn 32 this New Year's Day, and have some other milestones I am reminded of. I have been out of high school for 14 years this year (wow!!!). My first baby will be 9 this year, and my little one will be 6. I will have been divorced for 3 years, and married to Barrett for 3 years as well (come this summer). I left teaching in 2012, as well as moved to our new home then, and earned my CNA license in 2013. This blog started in the summer of 2012, and has surpassed 10,000 views! :) There's some history for you. I encourage you to make a timeline of your life, and I bet you'll enjoy reminiscing over accomplishments. 

Last year my New Year's Resolution was very simple: to be a better mom and wife by being happier. That's it. For the most part, I actually think I accomplished it-though it would've depended on the day I suppose!

For 2014, I have some thoughts. I woke up this morning for the first morning in a long time feeling absolutely inspired, feeling grounded, and feeling like I could take on the world. It's a great feeling, and here are some of the thoughts I have had about who I should be in the year to come: 

In 2014...

•  I am conforming less to others' ideals of beauty and embracing my own sense of style as well as the beauty that comes from being simply comfortable with myself. 
  
• I am owning both the complexity and often inconvenience of my dreams, and embracing them both as part of my journey.
• I am getting in better touch with my own spirituality because I want to-not out of guilt or requirement.
• I am loving my body and taking care of it by doing more of the healthy things that I enjoy, and letting go of the guilt about not doing the things I dislike. 
• I will think more, but doubt less. Fear has no room in my heart with dreams this big.
• I will allow myself to make mistakes, and room to try things and decide I don't like them. (How else will I know?)
• I will understand that though my family is my #1 priority, not only is it okay, but it is necessary for me to cultivate interests of my own and find a handful that belong to me. 
• I will dream dreams that may seem difficult to attain to outsiders, but I will put them into action by having a plan (and another plan, etc.).
• I will commit myself to giving time to an organization that I truly care about.
• I will travel more, experience more, but shop less. 
• I will know that I am a paradox of many things (introverted but a people person, determined but indecisive, intelligent but sometimes naive), and instead of feeling guilty about these, I will embrace and hone my strengths. )If curious, this is me to a T)-Portrait of an INFJ

"The saddest people I've ever met in life are the ones who don't care deeply about anything at all. Passion and satisfaction go hand in hand, and without them, any happiness is only temporary, because there's nothing to make it last." ― Nicholas Sparks, Dear John

Want to know my dreams?  Think you know them all? (I bet you don't!) Ahhh...but that is another topic another day. 

Cheers for now

-Sarah

The Calm Before the Storm

It is one of those blessed lazy days that strike every once in a blue moon when there is nothing, and I mean nothing on the calendar. I slept until after 8 AM (this doesn't happen often), and proceeded to have coffee and read until finally showering around 10:45, and slipping into comfy leggings and a long sweater. The outfit is not quite enough to wear outside the home (despite flocks of women that seem to wear tights as pants and then wander public places together in groups...), but it is comfy and cute and definitely okay to wear with just myself, my husband, a dog and a cat present. 

Last night as Barrett and I sighed in relief after dropping the kids off with their dad then going out together, we realized the glorious news that we had an entire weekend with nothing at all planned. After the hustle and bustle of Christmas, out-of-state visitors, etc, etc, etc, we had had things planned every day for what must have been at least the past 3 weeks or so. "It almost gives you a feeling of panic, like there must be something you are forgetting about," Barrett said. I'm almost sure we haven't forgotten anything. :) 

I am lapping up all the laziness and snuggles, and comfort this weekend has to offer. I almost feel like it is the calm before the storm, the lull before the busyness begins again, as it no doubt will next week as I am home with the kids, and have my 32nd birthday, and have a car once again in the shop (sigh-my orange beauty is showing her years). I wait to hear about one possibility of a job that I could maybe love (maybe?) or to plan for CNA 2 and nursing school admissions and the hopes that hang on those. Barrett loses his work-at-home day for at least the next 3 months as he fills yet another role in his company (GRRRRRRR!!! Is all I have to say to that, as his once flexible job becomes anything but for hopefully just a short while), and I know the kids will bring busyness galore with whatever random school and scouts adventures happen to come up. 

So here's to the break. I hope that you too can be blessed soon with a day where nothing is planned. 

Merry Christmas! 2013 At a Glance (Our Christmas Newsletter)

I have decided that I like this venue more than the sending out of traditional photo Christmas cards. For one thing, it saves me time and money (yes, please), and for another, anyone can read it that wants to. 

2013 has been a year that has taught this family, and yours truly especially, that life rarely goes as planned. Reading my Christmas post from last year, I thought how neat and organized our lives and plans sounded. Ha! Shortly after my blog post (which you may remember from other posts later), Barrett's grandmother was hospitalized, our yellow lab died, and I freaked out about changing careers and bowed out of the CNA program. I spent the remainder of last spring and summer being home with our boys, and loving it often. We have watched our German Shepherd puppy go from being a complete nuisance to quite the good family dog. Barrett's grandparents moved up to be with us in August, and after a few months of them staying in a new 5th wheel trailer while we planned and got construction bids on adding onto our home, they decided to move instead to a home in Lebanon. I re-took and finished my CNA certification, and loved it. I also did a very short stint with Samaritan Health Services in the billing department, and the job proved to be a bad choice for our family for many reasons. 

Isaiah began kindergarten in the fall, and much to my delight his teacher says he is doing well and is such a bright boy (I knew that part!). :) He is learning to read, is a whiz at math, and most days seems to really enjoy school. This year we went sledding and there were no broken bones! Seems he has now mastered the jumping off the sled before you hit a tree trick! :) Zay is amazingly fun, insanely cute, and has enough personality for 4 people, let alone one 5 year-old boy. Oh, and he loves getting to ride the bus to school with his big brother now!

Matthew continues to do well in school as a second-grader now at Central Linn Elementary. He has many friends, and even a little "girlfriend" (ha!).  He loves soccer, swimming, and anything Mario (we only let him play Wii games, because they seem so much less violent than other console games, so Mario it is, plus we play as a family and limit his time!). Matt is going to eat us out of house and home far before he is a teenager, and he gives Barrett his breakfast "order" each night before bed for the next day. This year Matthew has joined Cub Scouts, and we are impressed so far with the amount of activities he "has" to do that encourage family time, faith, and independence. 



Barrett has seen a few changes at his job, as he has been moved around this past year to fill various roles, such as editing technical documents and being a team "Tech Lead" to help co-workers solve and stay on top of their cases. It remains a great job for this family. I have to brag on my husband who would never brag on himself, but this past year with diet and exercise he has lost 30 pounds, and is feeling much healthier. 

Together we are doing wonderful, and did get to see a great vacation to Cozumel, Mexico this past April. You can read about that here: Snorkeling with Stingrays and Sea Turtles. We also have a trip coming this February to Oahu, as well as a family vacation to Great Wolf Lodge as well as to Seattle during Spring Break. Can't wait! And I know next summer or fall we are going to California finally to see my family and maybe a few theme parks!

I remain the confused, mysterious one. Just kidding-well, kind of. Ever since before I even left teaching it has been a decision of teaching versus nursing. Actually that has been a conundrum since my freshman year in college. I can tell you that I still think about both. That I can, and am applying to nursing programs this winter for next fall, but I am also considering other paths in education, such as adding a special education endorsement to my teaching license (to work with special education students at the high school level) down the road. Right now, it is about 50-50. Until I know, I may sub or work-part-time as a CNA, or both...or neither. I wish I knew what my future holds, but some plans, even now as I write are still too up in the air to share. I should have some idea by January, and even more of an idea and some finality by June.  I am content this year though in the fact that I am confident good things are coming. I have made a few friends this year that I am glad to know, have gained new skills, and am starting to learn that life isn't always meant to be planned 100% of the way. 

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from our home to yours!

10 Things I Won't Apologize For

I saw another blog this morning with a list of 10 things that the writer felt, believed, or simply was with that title: "10 Things I Won't Apologize For", and I thought that I need to write my own out as well. What a great exercise in defining the things that matter to you (whether silly or serious), and sharing it with others. I would love to see your list, and if you can't think of 10, give me 5, or 3! I enjoy reading other responses. 

So here it goes. These are 10 things that I will not apologize for. :)

1. The fact that Barrett and I spend LOTS of time together.
I have surprisingly gotten many negative comments in the past on the fact that my husband and I are pretty inseparable when we can be. We love being together and will both gladly choose to accompany the other in doing just about anything so that we can be together. We go to bed at the same time at night, we choose hanging with each other over hanging with friends quite a bit, and we text A LOT. I have heard comments such as "You two are attached at the hip", "You should do things apart more often" (to this I say why?), and "it's just a phase-you're newlyweds"-and to this I say we have known each other for 3 years this January, and if anything, we spend even more time together. How long are people considered newlyweds for??  Google and Yahoo both say 1 year. This is the way we choose to be a couple. With the exception of the boys and maybe 20 relatives and/or friends, we'd both be happy on a deserted island away from the world. I have no problem with how much time you and your significant other spend together or apart-and that being said, I will not apologize for the time mine and I spend together. 

2. That expensive coffee is simply better for me. 
Last summer I gave up coffee (eek!!!) because I was having major stomach issues that I attributed to it after cutting out everything else first (I did not want to give up coffee). In the last few months I have been drinking coffee again, and have discovered something. The "gourmet" flavored coffee grounds versus Folgers in a huge can, do not upset my stomach (and this explains the years I drank it just fine)-but the cheaper grounds do...a lot. So be it, my coffee costs a bit more, but doesn't make me sick for hours on end each morning, and I will take that. We think it is due to the level of acidity, and could also explain why the "fancy $4 coffees" from like Starbucks, etc. also do not upset my stomach.

3. That I like pretty things. 
I realize it sounds air-headed, but I am not sorry. Pretty clothes, jewelry, makeup, shoes, purses, scarves, fresh flowers, and home decor items make me happy. I do not go overboard, BUT yes, retail therapy does indeed work wonders for me. 'Nuff said. 

4. That I talk to my pets. 
Does anyone NOT do this?? I have entire conversations with Max and Clarissa, though not Mr. Fishy or the chickens (hey, I have my limits). Mind you, these are not serious conversations, but I do indeed talk to them. I think it's good, and they seem to like it. :)

5. That I am fiercely protective of my loved ones, and the causes I care about.
I am not an easy-going person, surprise there, but I am easy to get along with for the most part. But you threaten my boys' sense of security in any way, speak bad about my parents or my Barrett, or in rarer (but indeed possible) cases argue against one of the few hot topics that I really have an opinion on (education, abortion, animal rescue, and the right to a dignified death to name a few...), and I will come at you like an avenging angel/banshee on fire, screeching all the way, claws ready. And I am not sorry for that. We should all have passions we would fight for. 

6. That I don't care about politics. 
I know, I am almost afraid to write that. I DO care about being informed (but not overly so), and I mostly care about just living a good life, a life that I can be proud of when it comes to the end. I will admit that in some cases that can overlap with what is going on politically, and that is normally when I become interested. But every issue, every lying politician, every possible change to laws, taxation, etc...I just don't really care. 

7. That though I am a reader girl, I will read what I like. 
I am not a classics girl. I cannot tell you the number of times I have decided to read a classic novel, and not been able to get through the first few chapters without feeling like I was dying from boredom. I used to actually feel really guilty about this. I like my literature as far from reality as it comes. I love YA dystopic fiction.  I love to read, and I read to escape, so I will not apologize for choosing the likes of Harry Potter, Sookie Stackhouse, Clary Fray, and the House of Night books over classic lit. Now, that being said, there are some great "classic-ish?" novels that I have loved such as Brave New World.  Also, as part of this, I will not spend time trying to finish a book I just am not enjoying. Life is too short.

8. The fact that I will likely never be a size 2 again.
I have talked about some weight struggles on here before, and I am proud to say that through Weight Watchers I have lost 16 pounds since the end of summer. I will also admit that I could likely have lost 20-25, but I LOVE food, and I am within a healthy weight range again. So, yeah...I will give up the dreams of being size 2 for a size 6 that has food she likes within reason. ;)

9. My belief that exercise is like a huge multivitamin. 
By this I mean that there are certain things we do simply because they are good for us, but not necessarily because we enjoy them. I do not love exercising. Usually I loathe it. Sometimes I am glad I did it...but honestly, I will take the couch and a good book any day over the treadmill. I won't always choose that though, because like green beans, exercise is good for me...but I don't have to like it. For those of you that love to run (this is alien to me), I am happy for you, but I am also not sorry that I don't have any aspirations, ever (EVER) of running in a marathon. Ever. Okay, you get my point. 

But I would be happy to hike, Rollerblade, swim, or walk with you.

10. My supposed lack of direction.
I just left a job after 2 1/2 weeks. I should likely be sorry for this, but I am not. I am a grown woman, and it is up to me to make decisions on things that work for my family and things that don't-as well as what works for me. I am qualified to teach as well as to be a nursing assistant. I can build on my education in either direction or not at all. I used to really have guilt about not knowing what I should do with my life, but lately I am much calmer about this. I have many options, and you never know where I might end up. Every twist and turn has taught me something about myself as well as about others, and when I do decide what path to take this information with be incredibly valuable. Oh, and I am more than welcome to change my mind. I am a woman after-all, and one with many interests. 

What 10 things will you not apologize for?