A Conundrum of Sorts...

I have always been a strong believer that having children is something that is not for everyone. Children are time-consuming, expensive, and ever-needing of attention, correction and nurturing. The decision to have children is a very personal one, and the decision to add to a family as well. I respect those that choose not to embark on this endeavor. That being said, I believe that the benefits outweigh the costs. I love my children, and I love knowing that I am (in my own small way) having an impact on the future. That being said, I worry about the state of affairs in the United States when it comes to childcare, maternity benefits, and our educational system. I can't cover all that in one post, so I'll just briefly touch on schools. 

My son stood in front of me yesterday afternoon, seemingly untouchable, moody and flippant-seven going on 15. Where is my sweet little boy? My mind reeled. What am I doing wrong? What can I fix? Back to church, lots of attention, how to help...my stream of consciousness. I like his new school. He does too. But I am hoping that the loss of his sweet innocence is not impending due to the loss of his private school. I fought back tears, hating myself, blaming myself. If I had stayed on as a teacher, his (and Isaiah's) tuition would have been covered. Did I place my career happiness above developing their moral character? Now I finally understand why some parents opt for the third choice when it comes to educating their children. When public school is too worldly, private school is too much...homeschooling seems a great option. I suppressed the urge to call Barrett right then and there with an idea swimming in my head...I'll just do it myself! I thought. But then what? Yes, I am a competent educator. Yes, I could easily home school my sons. What about college? Nursing? What about making a living? Barrett does great for us, but this is a temporary way of life, certainly not the way to go. 

I am with the parents that aren't sure what to do. I have worked at only two schools, one charter and one private...and both had some issues that I would've liked to see fixed. There is part of me that wants to take on this cause and run with it. But I wouldn't even know where to begin. And I'm not entirely sure I would want to. My Master's Thesis was on how boys learn, and how the traditional classroom often sucks the spirit right out of young boys, making them hate school.  I have some great statistics and information that I'll share soon. Somewhere in my head is this school for boys that uses methods proven to work better for their style of learning, that has vocational learning, that capitalizes on the energy and creativity of young men. Alas, it is merely fictional.