Confessions of a Former School-Teacher Part 2

When you are a teacher, the students make all the difference. I have funny stories, ones so bad you'd laugh until you cried, I have sad stories, and I have stories that might make you think-the way they did me. A note to any former students reading this blog, all names have been omitted to protect the not-so-innocent, and if you think you know who I'm talking about-you probably don't, enough has been changed to make the student anonymous while keeping the integrity of the story the same. I have compiled some of my favorite stories into a list of "Rules" that I think would be helpful to anyone who interacts with people (aka: everyone), not just teachers.

Rule #1: Make No Judgments...It's Not Your Job
This story is bittersweet to me. I wonder if I handled it right all the time. I'm not sure there was a right answer, but maybe it was the right answer to this student. It was the end of the school year when an upperclassman popped in to talk to me. I had a good relationship with this student, and was going to miss her, as she was moving on to bigger and better things the next year. "Mrs. West, I have to tell you something," she said, "but please hear me out." I sat down and told her to go on. "I had sex recently," she confessed. Now, let me remind you this is a Christian school I was working at, and this was a huge taboo. "Go on, " I said. "I know I shouldn't have, you know, that I'm not supposed to...but I don't feel guilty, and I plan on doing it again at some point." Wowzers, did I feel like I was in a tough situation for a moment suspended in time. What was I supposed to do with this information? What should I say to her? Then, it dawned on me. She was a very bright girl, she knew she shouldn't have done it, but that wasn't why she told me. I stayed quiet for a minute. Then, the reason she told me became crystal clear when she looked at me with doubt in her eyes and said, "Does that change how you think of me?" I could have broke down and cried right there. I pulled her in for a hug and told her the truth, "absolutely not. I adore you. Thank you for sharing with me. I am not going to lecture you...just please be safe." My student smiled, and replied, "I knew you wouldn't judge me." Every time I look back on that day, I hope that I did it right, that I wasn't giving her the green light. She already had her mind made up after-all-I hope I was giving her what she needed in that moment: a person to listen, a person who wouldn't judge, and reassurance that she was still very much cared about.

To be continued...