Lessons Learned in Nursing School (So Far...)

It was a very tough decision for me to leave teaching, because it was a career that I didn't hate and that I really enjoyed a lot of days. They say that the best time to leave a job is not when you are unhappy with it, but when you are mostly satisfied. "Mostly" is the key word here. Now I realize no job/career/person will ever 100% satisfy 100% of the time, but go with me people. You see, it is a better indicator that you will only take something that is better than what you already have, instead of making a hasty "the grass is always greener" decision. I have tried to employ this sentiment over the course of my career. I really liked working front office at the dental office I worked at for six years. I left only when I had secured my first teaching position, and even then, I thought long and hard about it. The first school I taught at, I stayed for two years. I was (mostly) happy there, but I wanted to change age groups. I left third grade to take a position teaching high school students. This was the hardest job of all to leave, because I loved my students, but I felt a little nudge each day inside that I was not fulfilling my passion. After much (MUCH) deliberation, I gave my notice that I would not be returning the following school year and would instead go complete my prerequisites for nursing. The next two years were wonderful and terrible all at once. I was not sure I liked being unemployed, and I hated some of the "filler" type classes I had to take to complete prereqs. At the same time, I got to be mostly home with Isaiah before he began kindergarten. Finally, while I was waiting to hear about the next few years (if I had gotten into nursing school), I took a temporary teaching position in alternative education. Even this job, with nursing school looming on the horizon, was hard to leave behind. Most of you know my story, and the huge changes in my personal life that also allowed me to make career changes, but I bring all this up to say that there are many times I have doubted my decision. 

There are days that I have thought I was crazy to go back to school after spending years to get my teaching license and my graduate degree. There have been moments where I have thought, "I left teaching to learn this?" I tell you this because I have often had friends say that I am dedicated or that I seem so sure. I am not always sure. But I am getting more sure the further I get into the nursing program. I enjoy what I am learning (mostly), and I love taking care of patients. The patient I worked with the last two days got to know me a bit, and had told me today as he left that he wished me luck and happiness in my career and that I had made a very courageous decision. That made my week. I have not once thought of my career change as courageous. Scary? Yes. Insane? Maybe. Courageous? Nope. But I get his point. I am pursuing my passion, and in that I am also teaching my sons that we work hard for the things we want. Sometimes it is so stressful we cry. Some Friday nights bedtime cannot come soon enough. But the closer the goal gets, the more we push. Because it matters. Because it fills my heart. Because little by little I am on my way. 

So what has nursing school taught me so far? What advice would I give to anyone else?

• There are many types of nurses. This is a good thing. Some nurses are a bit stressed and frazzled, others go about the day laughing it off. It takes all kinds. I have seen many different personalities so far, and they all have been great nurses. 
• To piggy-back on that-we all have our strengths. Learning these strengths and honing them is important. For me so far, developing a good rapport with patients and patient education are both strengths.
• We all like different things. This is also a good thing. Not every nurse wants to work in the ICU or the ER. Some nurses love to start IVs, some love to teach joint replacement classes, and some love the excitement of a code blue. Find what you like, and match it with what you are good at.
• Advocate for your patient. If you have been with them all day and know that the pain meds aren't cutting it, be brave and call the doctor and get them what they need.
• There is no room for squeamishness. An IV starts bleeding, a patient coughs on you, you have to educate about (and possibly give) a rectal suppository. It is your business to know when your patient passes gas, urinates or has a bowel movement. You may need to tell them when they are okay to be sexually active again after surgery. Get over it. These are all imperative things to be able to talk about.
• Make friends with your fellow students. Who else can you text with before 6AM (not even kidding) to talk to about clinical prep packets? Who else can you commiserate with about an instructor or an upcoming exam?
• Take the material seriously. There is so much to learn, but what we are taught could literally save a life.
• Make time to laugh too. Not everything can be serious. I take 1-2 days/nights off each week to spend with my family and to not think about nursing school. Life goes on outside school as well. 
• Ask intelligent questions. Instructors do not want to answer the same thing over and over again, and you should know why hemoglobin and hematocrit rise or fall and what blood thinners do by the second term of the program. They will give you the "why the hell are you asking this?" look even if they don't say that out loud.
• Have family and friends that support you. Your people need to know that you won't always be free, and that yes, you study a lot. Also, have people willing to let you practice on them! 

What would you add?

Taking Chances in 2015

 As I sit here in a snowy wonderland, I  am reflective of my life and my past year. It has been a great one and I'm excited about 2015. 

I have not had much time to blog lately, and that is mostly a good thing. Due to my very restless nature, I am happiest when busiest. This annoys many people, but it is me. I had a fellow student/friend text the other day lamenting the fact that break was almost over. She asked if I was ready to go back. "Actually, yeah," was my reply. Vacations are so very nice, but I also have to say that I have found myself (though not always) in love with the day-to-day as well. That is when so much of life takes place. There are so many snuggles with kids, shared laughs with my husband, and good cups of coffee. There are soccer games to attend and concepts to study for. It is a good life.

I made a few resolutions this year. 

1. Laugh more, stress less.

2. Don't be afraid to look stupid in order to try/learn something new.

3. Balance nursing school with life making time for family, friends, and myself.

I think these are good ones, and the first two really have to do with a big change in me (even the third one a bit). I used to be so scared of what people would think of me. How did I look? Did I say the right thing? What if friends don't really like me? I have never even been dancing, even though I love to dance, because I'm not good at it. Even when I weighed 25 lbs less I was self conscious in a bikini. It's time to stop this nonsense. This is my life, and I'm going to have fun and be me. You know what I realized in Maui, as I sat there sucking in my stomach shying away from the pool where my kids played? I looked around me. There was a woman that could probably be considered chubby in the pool laughing with her kids. She didn't look ugly to me- she looked full of joy. I sprang from my seat to go down the water slide, much to the happiness of my family. It dawned on me that these people don't care how I look in a two piece-they're too worried about how THEY look or (if they're lucky, they're enjoying the moment)! Besides, why should I care what they think?!

My first day of clinical on the oncology unit, the very first opportunity for patient care, was for a dying woman. I followed my nurse in, and my heart stopped. The patient reminded me of my grandmother who died from cancer nine years ago. Every cell in me was ready to turn, run, and throw in the towel. Teaching here I come again and goodbye nursing! But I took a deep breath, and though there were tears in my eyes, I helped. I really feel I am better for it too. The compassion I had for the family was 100% genuine.

Today, I strapped on skis for the first time in over 20 years. I skied once as a kid, if you could even call it that since I never made it out of the lessons after managing to ski over my own hand (I am just that special). Barrett loves to ski (downhill) and I'm terrified of it. I told him I'd try cross country. I went into it knowing I would fall- I mean come on- you're strapping slippery things to your feet for the purpose of sliding in the snow. Combine that with the fact that I am a klutz, and falling is going to happen. Somehow embracing that fact made it better. I fell 4 times, but you know what? I had a blast, and am so glad I tried it!

I know this has been a rambling post, but my reason for the three scenarios above is this: take a chance. Know that you may falter and even fall, but it is so much better to live life fully than from the sidelines. It will make you a stronger, happier person I believe. 

 Happy New Year!