Taking Chances in 2015

 As I sit here in a snowy wonderland, I  am reflective of my life and my past year. It has been a great one and I'm excited about 2015. 

I have not had much time to blog lately, and that is mostly a good thing. Due to my very restless nature, I am happiest when busiest. This annoys many people, but it is me. I had a fellow student/friend text the other day lamenting the fact that break was almost over. She asked if I was ready to go back. "Actually, yeah," was my reply. Vacations are so very nice, but I also have to say that I have found myself (though not always) in love with the day-to-day as well. That is when so much of life takes place. There are so many snuggles with kids, shared laughs with my husband, and good cups of coffee. There are soccer games to attend and concepts to study for. It is a good life.

I made a few resolutions this year. 

1. Laugh more, stress less.

2. Don't be afraid to look stupid in order to try/learn something new.

3. Balance nursing school with life making time for family, friends, and myself.

I think these are good ones, and the first two really have to do with a big change in me (even the third one a bit). I used to be so scared of what people would think of me. How did I look? Did I say the right thing? What if friends don't really like me? I have never even been dancing, even though I love to dance, because I'm not good at it. Even when I weighed 25 lbs less I was self conscious in a bikini. It's time to stop this nonsense. This is my life, and I'm going to have fun and be me. You know what I realized in Maui, as I sat there sucking in my stomach shying away from the pool where my kids played? I looked around me. There was a woman that could probably be considered chubby in the pool laughing with her kids. She didn't look ugly to me- she looked full of joy. I sprang from my seat to go down the water slide, much to the happiness of my family. It dawned on me that these people don't care how I look in a two piece-they're too worried about how THEY look or (if they're lucky, they're enjoying the moment)! Besides, why should I care what they think?!

My first day of clinical on the oncology unit, the very first opportunity for patient care, was for a dying woman. I followed my nurse in, and my heart stopped. The patient reminded me of my grandmother who died from cancer nine years ago. Every cell in me was ready to turn, run, and throw in the towel. Teaching here I come again and goodbye nursing! But I took a deep breath, and though there were tears in my eyes, I helped. I really feel I am better for it too. The compassion I had for the family was 100% genuine.

Today, I strapped on skis for the first time in over 20 years. I skied once as a kid, if you could even call it that since I never made it out of the lessons after managing to ski over my own hand (I am just that special). Barrett loves to ski (downhill) and I'm terrified of it. I told him I'd try cross country. I went into it knowing I would fall- I mean come on- you're strapping slippery things to your feet for the purpose of sliding in the snow. Combine that with the fact that I am a klutz, and falling is going to happen. Somehow embracing that fact made it better. I fell 4 times, but you know what? I had a blast, and am so glad I tried it!

I know this has been a rambling post, but my reason for the three scenarios above is this: take a chance. Know that you may falter and even fall, but it is so much better to live life fully than from the sidelines. It will make you a stronger, happier person I believe. 

 Happy New Year!