What do you Value Most in Life?

The other day I sat in a roomful of about 45 other anxious people, thinking, reading, and writing furiously. I was at Lane Community College for the RN program interviews. We were given a list of possible interview questions and 30 minutes to make notes about them. While I cannot, nor do I really have any desire, to share what all the questions were, I will share 1, or the gist of one. It was a question that stumped me, one that I did not come up with a quick answer to, and ended up being one I was not asked anyhow…but during this process, I found my answer.

“What do you value most in life?”

I circled the question to come back to, and answered other ones first. I had a few things pop up in my mind right away to answer the question: my family, my children, and my husband. I also thought about other things that matter a lot to me: the freedom to pursue my education, fair education for all, dignity allowed to those dying, caring for animals, leading a life of inspiration to others. Then I kept thinking about it. Faith. Friendship. LOVE.Compassion. Open-mindedness about the differences of others.My time, (though often it feels in short supply, it is one of the only true equalities in life-we all get just 24 hours each day). J

I challenge you to think of this question. I was intrigued, and it made all the others pale in comparison. What is an answer that encompasses all the things I care about without leaving out anything important? Can you think of an answer?

I had been thinking a lot about Lane versus OHSU on my way to the interview (we shall see Monday if I even have the choice!). My mom had said something that stuck in my mind the whole way there. “The destination is the same. The choice is in the journey.” WOW, thanks Mom, that’s profound when you think about it. It applies to LIFE, not just nursing school. Right? We will all die, but it’s how we LIVE that matters. As I sang happily (and pondered) on my drive, I wondered how I wanted the next few years of my journey to go. I thought of this again when I came back to the question. “What do you value most in life?"

This time I had an answer.Balance. I value a life lived with balance. Working hard, but playing hard, helping others and being with those I love, learning but also relaxing, faith but not perfectionism, health but also enjoyment, hard work and vacations, exploration and quiet time at home, time with others and time alone. Balance is the true answer. At least for me. In the end, money buys nice things, but it really doesn’t buy happiness. I will take free time over money almost any day. Success is what you make it, but if the worldly definition means to focus SO much on one thing that I have nothing left to give those I love? That’s not success. Not even close.

Yesterday Matthew was sick, and B stayed home with him. I came home to an inviting home. Dinner was being made, boys were doing homework. It made my soul happy. I even felt I had time to shower and change out of my work clothes. The little things! J It dawned on me that I am someone who likes coming home to another person, not really the other way around. I thought about how to accomplish some of the things that matter most to me, and to combine them with the things that matter most to the man I love. I am 100% serious when I say that our long term plan involves me working, and B staying home, managing the properties we will have part-time, and having time for his hobbies, and caring for our home. Truly. This would make me SO happy, because it is all about balance. Maybe someday (after we survive the next few years!).

Until then…

“What do you value most in life?”

The Journey Continues...Wish Me Luck!

It felt so foreign this morning to see my family off to work and school, while I got to stay in my pajamas and have my coffee. It's funny how quickly things become part of our routines. 4 1/2 months ago this was the routine, but then I went back to work. No, I am not playing hooky today (though I am beginning to feel the pull of summer. 30 more school days as of today. 29 for me).  Today I put myself out there again, and I interview for Lane Community College's RN program. I didn't want to. I got into OHSU (my first choice), and it still feels unreal to hear (or write) those words! My family swears they just knew I would get in, but I honestly thought it was a long shot. I am just one in many hopeful candidates. Yes, I have pretty good grades and a prior degree, but I also have a bad grade in a very old math class, and need to retake an entire math sequence. So, anyhow, I did not want to interview AGAIN. Barrett convinced me to, reminding me that while we will do anything that it takes to ensure I can go to OHSU, that I will feel better if I have a choice. Now, that's a lot of assuming there, because that is assuming that Lane likes me as well, that I do well in their interview.

Lane narrows the couple hundred applicants to approximately 120 that will interview, and then adds the interview points onto the GPA and prerequisite points, admitting anywhere from 62-88 candidates.  My chances are actually, statistically, slightly better than for OHSU, who only interviewed 64 (narrowing the applicants down much further to start with) for 32 spots.  I figure I just need to be roughly within the top 3/4 of interview candidates. I wasn't nervous, at all at first. I hadn't decided until this past Friday if I was going to cancel the interview or attend. I have not put in the HOURS of practice that I did for OHSU, though I am sure it helps with this interview as well. I am a bit nervous about the format. It is similar to OHSU, but faster. I get 2 minutes to "sell myself" otherwise known as introducing myself, and 2 questions from a a bank of 14 that I have a chance to see 30 minutes prior to the interview. I then have 2 minutes for each question. This is just 3 questions total (well 2 really) and a total of 6 (!!!!) minutes to wow them. SIX. Yeah, that is enough to make someone queasy. At the other interview I had 2 essay questions I got to bring with me, 1 written response there, and 5 questions with a time limit of 8 minutes apiece. That is 40 minutes of talk time versus six.

I realized while researching my possible schools that I do indeed want a choice. They are both good choices for many reasons, and there are cons to both as well.

OHSU
Pros:

• known nationally for producing great leaders in the field of nursing
• smaller cohort 32 vs. up to 88
• emphasis on research and leadership
• new facilities
• more diversity for clinical rotations
• clinicals begin right away
• Leads to Bachelor of Science in Nursing: will complete in 3 years as part of program
• 3-4 days a week
• high NCLEX pass rate
• high retention rate

Cons:

• Drive time of 1 hour each way (this is worth multiple cons though, because on 12 hour clinicals this drive time also cuts into even more time away from home. Cuts into study-time twice as much as Lane.) Harder to get together for any study groups and/or group projects
• Cost (twice as much as Lane)
• More gas money out/ wear and tear on car
• Cannot take boards for licensing until 3rd year is complete
• Working at all is not recommended entirety of program

Lane
Pros:

• Half the cost of OHSU (saves $17,000)=less loans to try to secure. Easier to pay out-of-pocket for some costs.
• the 3rd year is still through OHSU (for BSN), and can be done online instead of on campus
• Leads to Bachelor of Science in Nursing: Can complete in 3 years total, or take breaks in-between
• Can become licensed after 2 years in program, and have up to 3 to enroll in BSN final year. This leaves time to get a job as a nurse and work while completing online classes. Potentially less $ lost due to lost wages.
• 2-4 days a week
• A 30-40 minute drive each way
• clinicals are 30-40 minutes away
• Nursing Co-Op Program lets you take an extra, shorter clinical each term after first as an elective to shadow/work with an RN in a specialty you are interested in=more exposure to specialty areas. 
• High NCLEX pass rate
• Clinicals begin right away
• new facilities

Cons:

• larger cohort
• not as well "known" as OHSU
• lower retention rate than OHSU. May lose up to 20 or so students from cohort.

So all this to say, wish me luck today, please! I am now feeling the butterflies, and I DO want a choice. I am SO grateful that no matter what, I get to be a nursing student next year and eventually a nurse! WOW!!!! I could not do any of this without  the support of my wonderful husband, kids, parents and grandparents cheering me on! Thank you to all of you that have also prayed for me and wished me luck. Now I need a chance to pick what works best for my family, and for my professional goals. Thanks for stopping by to read me!

Walking on Sunshine

I am walking on sunshine! The grey, cloud-filled sky is just gorgeous, and my most annoying of students cannot get me down. I am sure you may have already seen on Face Book, but yesterday afternoon I got the news I had been waiting for the past few weeks, and really, if we are perfectly honest, the news I had wanted to hear the last few years. My prayers have been answered with a resounding YES.

 I feel blessed beyond measure. I interviewed for the top nursing program in the state of Oregon (and 3^rd in the Nation!!!!!) a week and a half ago. I have been on pins and needles waiting to hear. I thought that I would not get in, prepared myself to not get in, and tried to make peace with not getting in.

BUT I got in! Like I said I tried to prepare myself for not getting in to any programs, but let’s be real here: I wanted this bad. OHSU was my first choice and I can hardly believe I got in on my 1^st try!  I am so excited to start this journey. I even feel like that saying, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life,” perfectly pertains. It is no longer just a dream. There is a plan. I am on my way to becoming a nurse!

I am going to get spiritual here. No, I don’t go to church often enough, but I do believe, and I do talk to God. Often. Over the past few years, since I quit teaching (the first time I guess since I currently teach!), I feel that I have grown in my assuredness that there is a plan even if it is not mine. I tried, and then backed out, was afraid, then decided to forge ahead. It has been a more than bumpy path. I have been told by a complete stranger that my blog and journey is inspiring, but I don’t really think so. It is just honest. I almost quit again recently. My current job can have its good days, and I like being a paid member of society again. I thought I could make peace with that. But then I worried about those few that do look up to me, and thought of my sons. How would I explain letting a dream go due to convenience? Are you kidding me?  This mom is not a quitter. I am made of more than that. So I did make peace. I asked God again and again to close this door if it wasn’t meant to be, but then my prayers changed a bit. Instead they became, “I think I can do this God. I think I can be great at this. I will be great wherever you put me, and work hard at any job no matter the time I am there…but if you close this door, give me the strength to knock again.”I hope He doesn’t see that as blasphemy. I hope He thinks that is okay. But I know it was a change in me, a change in my heart. I CAN do this, and I can do well, but only with the strength God gives me, and only with a heart that is open to things I have yet to only imagine.

When I am asked where I want to go with nursing, I have a few answers ready. I have thought about going on to be a Nurse Practitioner.  I have thought about my own experience with a great nurse when my Matthew was born premature, an experience that forever changed me, and have thought about working in a NICU or in Labor and Delivery. I have thought of combining my love for teaching with my love of healthcare and becoming a Public Health Nurse. But the truest answer? I don’t know, but I am sure, and I am faithful that the path will find me.

I hope that you will celebrate this part of the journey along with me! I am thankful for those of you that read my blog, and I apologize for the last few months not having posted much. I just wasn’t sure what else to say. I hope to keep this blog going of course, to document my journey through nursing school, and I hope that you will stay with me. I am sure I will need an outlet during what promises to be some challenging, yet fulfilling years of my life.

-- 
Sarah