Just Bite Your Tongue Until it Bleeds...

I love Facebook, and the fact that because of it and texting and the internet in general we can keep in contact with many people that we probably otherwise wouldn't. Sometimes though, I am appalled at the things that people say to one another and somehow think that it's ok. It's like those cute little old ladies that feel like they can say ANYTHING as long as it is followed by "bless their heart." It goes like this, "Oh, that poor baby is all wrinkled and ugly like my Aunt Felda, bless her heart." Yeah-you know what I'm saying!

 A friend of mine had a huge tragedy befall her. Her house caught fire, and while she and the children got out, her animals were inside. This breaks my heart for her and the kids. Some "friend" of hers posted that she doesn't crate her dogs for that very reason. REALLY??!! Yeah, because that comment was helpful. Who needs enemies with "friends" like that, right? Right? Nod with me if you too are aghast at the callousness and stupidity of that comment.

Oftentimes people say things without thinking that their words are hurtful to others. I have another friend with 4 young boys. When she is out with them in tow, people often come right up to her and ask if she is "still trying for a girl." I only have 2 boys, and I have been asked that. Without knowing any background, I guess people might not know that yes...both her and I wanted a girl, and no...neither of us are trying anymore. And while we love our kids to death, it'd be better if you well...minded your own business. 

Other times people say things to you because they feel it is in your best interest, or avoid talking to you about the things that matter most to you because they disagree. Many friendships have been scarred irreparably like this. The fact that I was dating so soon after my divorce bothered some of my family and my friends. So, they wouldn't talk to me about Barrett...or, they gave advice that they thought they needed to give, but it wasn't helpful (or kind) at all. While relationships can heal, especially when people admit their wrongdoing, it would be a lie to say that I  don't still think of some of the things said and suggested to me during a time that I was otherwise happy and falling in love. It also made me sad that my happiness made others uncomfortable. Sometimes I wanted to scream "It's not like you had to go through the divorce!" or "You have no idea what it's like right now!"- but I usually kept quiet. 

You see, a long time ago, as children, we probably all learned, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." I'm here to do you one better on that. BITE YOUR TONGUE...Until it bleeds if you have to.