Confessions of a Substitute Teacher

Dear Classroom Teacher, 

I am your sub while you are out sick, off learning teaching techniques, or playing hooky. I will do my best to care for your classroom and your students, but at the end of the day-I get to go home and not worry about this again. Thank you for the lesson plans you left that require leaving already squirrely kids sitting in  their desks for over an hour. Was this left purely to test my resolve, or did you honestly think it would be easy to fill their time with worksheets and mine with the job of classroom policeman?  I will loosely follow the lessons you left, giving breaks when needed. I will bribe your students with candy, the promise of games, and perhaps an art lesson or two. I will read the stories I brought, because they are more likely to hold the interest of your class, because they are new and different. Quite honestly, if you left me with no lesson plans, and gave me enough notice, you would find me capable of making my own that would keep the kids better entertained so that they were only vaguely aware that they were even learning. I am not criticizing your teaching style whatsoever, as a former teacher, I know that what you leave for a sub is based purely on keeping your students busy while you are gone, and that some subs cannot be trusted to get even the bare minimum done. I remember. 

It is not my classroom, it is not my classroom, it is not my classroom is the mantra that I will repeat over and over again in my head as I look at the messy desk, disordered bookshelves and general disarray of the room. I want to fix it so bad, but have a feeling that me completely reorganizing and cleaning your classroom would not be welcome. Can I do that instead of babysit the kids? I digress. Little Annie in the front row? She is a whiner. I would not send her to the office for countless fever checks and band-aids  She seemed just fine to me. Johnny over in the corner did no work today despite repeated warnings from me and loss of part of a recess (which just meant more work for me). If he were my student, I truly would worry about this problem, but as your sub I will just tell you-he did nothing. As long as he stayed remotely quiet, it was no longer worth a battle. Oh, and cute little Derick in the corner? Yes, his desk is probably still a mess, and you may have fainted if you saw that he spilled his water-color cup not once, not twice, but three times. He's probably the type of kid you may cringe about even touching paints...BUT he seemed so happy, didn't struggle at all with art like all the other subjects, and I loved seeing him succeed and getting to champion his talents in front of his peers. For how big his smile was, I will come shampoo your carpets at your liking. 

Please don't tell me about the "trouble" kids. I know you are trying to help me, but it just makes me sad. I want to go in for my day or two filling in for you with fresh eyes, not biased already toward a kid I have never met. Though know that when you do tell me about these kids (and maybe you should for this reason), I will do my best to see them in the exact opposite way. They will become my helpers, receive tons of praise and smiles, and probably have one of their best days in school ever. Little Jake that you described as a "hellion"? He was awesome for me...not a problem in the world. He was helpful, energetic, and eager to please. Perhaps you do get more flies with honey...or whatever that saying is. Don't be surprised when my note back to you indeed has your trouble-maker's names, letting you know what awesome kids they were for the day...and don't be surprised when they ask you if I am ever coming back, because I gave them a chance.

I know that these are your kids, and this is your space day-in and day-out. I have the utmost respect for you. Teaching is tough. Your kids are in good hands with me. The main thing to remember is that I will not be YOU, no matter how detailed your plans, and this is on purpose. I will be me, and they will have fun, they will respect me and follow my rules even if they are different than yours. I will keep order, even if that means imposing consequences, and I will take fondly to the kids that no one else seems too, because they too, need a day in the sun.

Sincerely,
Your Sub