Today I Cheated on Nursing...

Today I cheated on nursing. I had thoughts about another career path. I took the time to take even more career aptitude tests. I researched programs, and I looked into other schools. I imagined being a counselor, a clinical psychologist to be exact. I imagined doing research on personality theory and relationships, and entering the hallowed halls of academia as a true scholar. I meet the admission requirements. It would be a logical step forward in my education to pursue a doctorate, not to go backwards and get a two-year degree. I could probably even get student loans for it instead of this so far rocky path of self-funding the rest of my education. I imagined having my own office, decorating it how I want, and making my own schedule. I imagined helping people with their marriage problems...

I cheated because every test I take tells me to be a counselor. Every test I take acclaims my aptitude with people and intuition. I cheated because in some strange corner of my mind at least, theories are easier than facts. I cannot pass anatomy with theories and concepts. I cannot draw on my past experience of how I felt when going through some circumstance. Facts are right or wrong. This thinking is refreshing, yet foreign to my brain that has been addled with counseling theories and educational practices. Anatomy is HARD...oh, I'm doing okay, better than many classmates, in fact I even have the coveted 'A' right now, but we shall see if that lasts through finals. It's just difficult. I never, not once, found anything difficult about my other degrees.

My forever fan reminded me that just because some test tells me I would be good at something, doesn't mean that it's the only thing I should do. He reminded me that a test doesn't account for what I want to do, and what I feel called to do. He also reminded me that I was keeping my options open so to speak, because I thought counseling would be an easier route to a higher degree in the same amount of time...not because I desired to do that. This is why my husband is my sounding board. :) He's also a good sounding board because he reminds me that I would likely get bored listening to the same people week after week talk about  their problems without me just being able to fix them already!

Nursing is like the elusive mistress right now. She is out there somewhere, teasing me to seek her out. Sometimes I hate her, but my loyalty has been tested. Nursing, I will look no further, and I will buckle down and do what it takes to fancy only you.