It is normal for people to ask a newlywed couple if they are going to have a family. Luckily, no one is stupid enough to word it this way to us, as we already have a family. Barrett and I often do get asked though if we will "have one of our own." While I do not mind the question, how can I explain that we already have two beautiful sons of our own? While they are not Barrett's biologically, and while yes, they do indeed have a dad (and a great step-mom too for that matter), they are also always treated as though they are "our" children. I would be lying to say that Barrett and I have never talked about having a baby, because we have. A few times we talked it through actually, and once we almost decided in favor.
Why are we not having one? Well, let me tell you why I personally would even want a baby. I like the idea of decorating a nursery, and of being pregnant and even of all the new baby gadgetry. I love the idea of sharing the experience with my wonderful husband. BUT...I don't like the idea of the actual child (brutal, I know). You see, 2 adults that were only children like being independent. I like my sleep. I like my schedule. I like that my sons are old enough to understand when mom needs a few moments of quiet and be able to entertain themselves. I like that having 2 means we can split them up and each have one when they are being obnoxious and sibling rivalry (a concept neither Barrett nor I understand) flares up. I adore my boys and the weekends they are with us, and most of the days and evenings they are here (they live with us, but see dad every other weekend and a few weeks here and there), but Barrett and I both also love our weekends without the boys. We get to be a couple and enjoy one another, go away together, go on dates, lounge around the house with only ourselves to worry about. While I would never condone divorce, the custody arrangement really does give us the best of both worlds, and it makes our family weekends so much more special. We actually plan fun things to do with the boys, dinners we know they like, and quality time with each of us. Can I go out on a limb here and say that divorce has made me a better mom?
We have decided to expand our family though...just in a different way. A few months ago we got our farm dog, Rya, an older yellow lab. She is a great dog, and stays on the property, and loves to be petted and taken on walks. Because she is older though, and always raised as an outdoor dog, she is not ever inside our home. She seems perfectly content with this, but we have decided to also get a puppy-a German Shepherd puppy that is already house-trained and partially obedience trained. While this bundle of joy may be a small fortune compared to adopting another dog, it really is the best choice for us. So, yes, we have thought about having "our own", but we already do, and parenting a wiggly, squishy puppy is our next adventure.
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