Tuesday, August 19, 2014

I am in the Best Years of My Life...Are you as Well?

I can honestly look at my life right now, or more specifically, in the last three years, and say that they have been (so far) the BEST years of my life. In my last three years I have gotten to do SO much, and be so much, and to stretch myself beyond what I ever thought was possible. I have taught middle and high school science with one of the best groups of students that I have ever known (I am honored to still get emails, wedding invites and even texts from a few). I have stayed home the year before Isaiah started kindergarten with him, and learned to see my younger boy apart from his brother, getting in time that was so valuable, (so frustrating sometimes, lol), and so indispensable to me being a good mom to both boys. I have gone on school field trips with the kids, been team mom for soccer, and helped with Cub Scouts. I have worked with nothing short of juvenile delinquents and their probation officers, learning that ALL students can achieve and deserve love. I have traveled to Maui, Cozumel, and Oahu, as well as Seattle (my favorite big city) multiple times. I have completed my CNA certification, passing my skills section with 100%. I have camped many, many times with my family at the coast, in the mountains and by pristine lakes. I have been accepted to both nursing schools I applied to. I have gained wonderful grandparents (my in-laws-B's parents have passed), that shower me with praise and affection, and wrap my boys in love. My sons have gotten to know the love of a man that hugs them each and everyday, helps with school homework and soccer skills, reads to them, shows them how to use tools and includes them in projects....most importantly though, Barrett shows the boys how to treat a wife, to tell her she's beautiful when she least expects it, to have no problem helping to take care of the household chores, to sacrifice for her dreams because you believe in her, and daily he gives them the gift of a happy mom.

I have learned not to stress (as much!), that it is a better choice of time to hang out with my boys than to sweep the floor, how to exercise and eat better, and mostly that when you have a man that supports your dreams and treats you as a partner in life, there is no limit to what you can accomplish.

Three years ago tomorrow Barrett and I married in a quick ceremony in Reno. We had had a decent sized wedding planned for 2-12-12, but it was getting complicated, expensive, and was too far in time away. I had already had a (beautiful) fairy-tale wedding once, but fancy weddings don't mean happy marriages, and B had no desire to celebrate our love in front of others. So, after a long drive overnight to Reno and a very late check-in to our room, Barrett and I would wake to do paperwork for a marriage license and to later marry at 3:00 in the hotel's chapel, he in khakis and a button-down shirt, and me in a simple green strapless dress (that I'd worn to multiple occasions already). We do have pictures in a wedding gown and suit, because the clothing was already ordered and paid for (though not yet ready) when we decided to elope. We figured we could at least have wedding pictures as well. Though I sometimes regret not having our "planned" wedding (nuptials on a steamboat with a river cruise), and we already had the most beautiful invitations ever (snowy white branches with burgundy ink), I have never once regretted the marriage. These have been the happiest, truest years of my life, and since Barrett entered the picture, I expect no less than the rest of our lives together being this happy as well.






The immediate future holds nursing school on the horizon, two boys with soccer practices, games, homework and projects, a first grader and a third grader, a family trip to Maui for our Christmas presents this year (because we decided experience and memories outweigh material items), and Barrett continuing to work and excel at the company he is part of (he has even increased from one work-at-home day a week to two!), supporting our family steadily.

I am not sure what will happen past that, or even past the next year or so. I know school will be difficult, but I also have no doubts that I can do it. I hope to find the area I feel called to be in, and to narrow down the list of specialties I think could be good fits (emergency, operating room, NICU, women's health, or oncology). Professionally, I would like to go further than my RN, perhaps to be a Family Nurse Practitioner, or perhaps to teach later on. I know I want our family to travel lots, showing the boys places they've never dreamed of, and making memories along the way.

I am, still and for all the foreseeable future, in the happiest years of my life. Are you as well? If not, perhaps it's time to make some changes...

Saturday, August 2, 2014

My Own 13 Things Lists

It has been exactly a month since I have written. It feels like the time has flown by! I have busily been enjoying a summer full of happy kids, camping, river swimming, coastal day-trips, and reading to my heart's content. I have satisfied the rest of the large "to-do" list for nursing school with updated vaccines, drug screen and background check, and am surviving (and thrilled to be almost done with!) my algebra class. Warning!!! This is a lengthy post. Please see it through to the end or bookmark to finish later. I think it's worth it? :)

Recently I read a book that really resonated with me. 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher. I highly recommend it. It is a tough to read story about a girl that commits suicide. She leaves behind a set of cassette tapes with the 13 reasons why she decided life was too much to take. There are so many huge messages in this book, but the 3 that really stood out to me were 1)Never underestimate the power your actions and words have on others, 2)Everything in life is connected, and 3)Learn to be your own biggest fan/be comfortable with who you are, and don't let others label you.

Without giving too much away, suffice it to say, that the girl in the book had a reputation that was not even earned, but it was defining who she was. It was debilitating to her, and too difficult to get around. A few things in her story rang really, painfully true to being very, very similar to part of my own time as a teenager, though I obviously handled things very differently. It reminded me that any time there is an untruth about us, we have a few options. We can hide/escape (probably not the best option), we can let it define us, and even become that which is said about us since people think it anyway (also not very healthy), we can ignore it, or we can live our lives out loud, proudly and purposely and (also ignoring it) let others think what they will, but show who we really are. I believe firmly in the last option now, though back then trended toward another. So much is often thought about people, without there even being truth behind it. I bet you have thought some untrue things about me. I have certainly been called things that I didn't think were who I was: insensitive, demanding, slutty, and stuck-up to name a few. It's okay. I have probably thought things about you too.


So...let's not, shall we? I don't know your story, only what you choose to present. You probably know more of mine, since I am pretty open about things, but even so, could you really know the hurt, pain, passion or joy that I have experienced? I doubt it, at least not in the way that it has happened to me, because I cannot know yours. We all have a story. What I was reminded of in this book though is that people can only know us if/when we let them. In the spirit of the book I have chosen to make my own few lists in order to be known better. I give you 13 things I believe in, 13 things I have a hard time with, and 13 things I love. If you want to join in with any of the lists about yourself, please comment or post on Facebook. I love the interaction.

13 Things I believe in: 

  • Miracles. Pure and simple. I have experienced one the day my older son should have died, and didn't.
  • God, but often not religion. Often the two are very different.
  • Equality for all. Men, women, heterosexuals, homosexuals, ...etc, etc, etc. People are people.
  • Kindness matters. Always. Love wins.
  • The way people treat the children, the elderly, and animals speaks volumes about their character.
  • I believe in education. We have a very faulty system, but I believe in the value of a good education, and that any child can learn. 
  • Second chances. Enough said.
  • The calming effects of nature.
  • Every person has talent, gifts and worth.
  • Hope. It has power.
  • Family matters. Shared meals, trips and beliefs are so important.
  • Laughter.
  • Reading. Allows me to experience so many things. 
13 Things I have trouble with:
  • Math. 
  • Spiders. I woke myself up silent screaming from a nightmare about spiders just last night!
  • Animal cruelty. I basically think anyone abusing animals should be shot. Seriously.
  • Celery. I know, weird, but it is the one food that I cannot stand!!
  • Feeling not in control. Contrary to popular belief I am sure, I have never done any drugs, nor EVER been drunk. Probably because I am a control freak.
  • People who say one thing and do another.
  • Driving. I used to be very afraid of driving. I waited until I was 18 to get my license. I am still not a big fan, but obviously do it most everyday. I hate big city driving.
  • I do not like to be by myself at night. If B had to be gone, I'd probably go stay at my parents house.
  • Scary movies. I hate them. I get nightmares easily. 
  • Narrow-minded people. I can't stand when others try to impose their beliefs.
  • The news. Sometimes I am not up-to-date on current events. I think that often it's because I dwell on all the bad things. 
  • Migraines. Yuck. Summers are the worst for me. 
  • Rumors. I am very sensitive now to this. Especially after that book reminded me how much hurt I had felt in my own past due to things people thought they knew about me. 
13 Things I love: 
  • My family. Duh. This includes my pets.
  • Thunderstorms, snowstorms and windstorms. 
  • The ocean. 
  • The night sky.
  • Reptiles and amphibians. Fascinating!
  • Biology and Anatomy.
  • Books.
  • Coffee and Tea.
  • Quiet time alone. In fact, I need this some everyday.
  • Fresh flowers.
  • Hot baths.
  • Cheesecake!
  • YOU. It is hard to explain, but some of you will get it. I love people and hate people all at once. I need my own time, but I care deeply about others. People intrigue me, amaze me, disappoint me and disgust me, all at once sometimes. I pray about my friends, and often will think on their troubles probably long after they are. I worry about people I have barely met, and am super sensitive to people hurting or in need, and I value many of your "online" friendships more than you probably know.
How about you?