Sometimes...Parenting Sucks

So, I know that I tell it like it is on a regular basis anyhow, but I just have to vent today. 

Sometimes...parenting sucks. Like, a lot. 

I am not even talking about the boot camp of diapers, spit-up, sleepless nights and mountains of laundry that occurs during those glorious days of infancy. Nor am I talking about the tantrum-throwing, sticky hands, and more sleepless nights of toddler-hood. I have cleaned up puked in beds, we once found a turd (not joking here!) in the washing machine, and I have walked into all kinds of interesting "kid" moments like a "pool" of baby powder all over the carpet that two young boys were jumping into. I have seen the bathroom floor SOAKED with water after a good bubble bath, muddy footprints throughout the house, and children playing the "throw the matchbox cars at the freshly painted wall because it seems fun" game. 

Nope, none of those truly suck THAT bad...I am talking about when, as a parent, you have to make the decision to do...well, the grown-up thing. Now I wonder how many times my own parents were in this same boat. By the way, this boat might as well be sinking slowly, riddled with holes, and I ordered the fantastic cruise-liner over yonder. I am talking about when we have to give up something we wanted, some sort of treat or freedom we have, to instill the importance of rules and consequences in a child. 

My example? Isaiah was supposed to go hang out with my dad, and spend the night with my parents. To the currently not working me, this was a fantastic idea. Isaiah gets fun with his Papa, and mommy gets time to pass out more business cards for subbing, and well...enjoy some quiet time. You mean I can read, blog or plan intricate fantasy vacations (because if I plan them enough-they will happen) in peace? I LOVE my son so much, but let me just say that my Isaiah is a rule-bender, pusher and breaker. He is the child that sees the line and constantly wriggles his toes on the other side...just to see what it is like. I often respect that about him, Barrett and I always say that his lack of people-pleasing nature will actually do him a lot of good later on. As a 4 year-old though? It often collides with our need for order in the home. This time though, Isaiah was told that going over to Nan and Pop's was a treat, and that Mom expected good behavior. For the next like 14 hours (mind you he was asleep for like 10 of those!) Isaiah pushed at the rules constantly. I couldn't even detail all the ones he broke, and none would seem like a HUGE deal on their own, but it was the attitude of nonchalance and sheer volume of rule-breaking that did him in. It was also the spoiled, bossy and expectant behavior I got from him this morning. I don't know how else to describe it. After about 3 warnings that he needed to behave better, I had to do the grown-up thing. I had threatened no stay with his grandparents, and I had to act. If I didn't, he may never take me seriously. 

I had to give up coveted free time and worry about what my parents might think. You ever feel like your parents think you are doing it all wrong? I know my parents love me and think I do okay, but I often feel I need to defend my decisions, and I felt bad for changing their plans but also explained that I had to make sure my son knows I mean business. After-all, it may not seem like a big deal now, but I need him to know that the rules in the house apply to him too. I need him to know that I love him even when he is in trouble, but that yes I do get angry and/or disappointed by his actions. I need him to be accountable. I never went easy on Matt, and I get that I still have plenty of time to see him step over the line as well, and that by nature as a first-born he is a people pleaser...yada, yada, yada...BUT Matthew behaves, respects authority, and honestly, gives us very little reason to do anything other than offer rewards when the time comes. Matt has always been held to high standards, and I feel I have been doing Isaiah a disservice by continuing to treat him as the baby, to let the rules bend. Not only does that create strife between the brothers (because Matthew is WELL aware of what his brother gets out of), but it teaches Isaiah nothing.  

At my expense, as well as his own, my son lost a privilege today...but I hope he learned a lesson. Parenting does not happen by accident-not if you want it done well.