Shameless Self-Promotion & How You Can Help

While I will not become annoying and do this all the time, or hopefully ever again...I have to promote my latest venture just once on my blog. I have created a page on FaceBook for young adults called Awkward Silence. It is my hopes that this page will be a place where I can offer advice, answer questions, and lead discussions on the things that teens and even newly marrieds deal with. This is something that has been on my heart since before I even left teaching (I truly have such a love and affinity for teens), but I was so nervous to even give it a try. It's kind of like hosting a party and having few guests show up, you know? If you are a teen or in your early 20's and read me here, or are the parent or friend of someone in that age group, please refer them to my page https://www.facebook.com/awkwardsilencenolonger. You can also help by checking it out yourself and just "liking" it, as I gain more insight on my viewers once I hit a certain # of likes. I am encouraging young adults to email me or even text me questions so that I may highlight them on there. I decided to go with the FaceBook page format because I am hoping it will lend my young readers more interaction than having to visit a blog.

Awkward Silence was created because I feel that young adults need a place to go and talk about the tough issues in life. Sometimes these issues are awkward, even to speak to a parent or close friend about...which is why I will bring them to light and provide a forum for discussion and hopefully learning about these things. Cadavers and Coffee will continue as usual, with this being my personal outlet and blog, and that really being my cause.  Please read the first few posts in Awkward Silence, and tell me what you think.

Also, if you have a story from being a teen (even if that was a long time ago!) that you think could benefit others, I would love for YOU to email me. I want to have a weekly feature from adults who have been there and done that, so to speak. 

Thank you for your support. 

NyQuil Induced Haze

Thank you NyQuil for the 8.5 hours of sleep you gave me last night, where I awoke just once, 7 hours in to use the bathroom-I really appreciate the sleep. :) What I do not appreciate however, is the fact that I am pretty sure I hit snooze for an extra hour of sleep from the time my alarm was set, going through 7 entire snooze cycles during which time I instantly fell back into slumber after haphazardly hitting the alarm clock each time. I also do not appreciate the fact that my entire two hours of wakefulness thus far has felt like I am still under some sort of haze. Ah...the NyQuil haze, making my actions sluggish, my thoughts scattered (if at all present), and my head swim. Did I even dream last night? I especially do not appreciate how lazy I felt getting ready, causing me to decide on a messy ponytail for school today, and then me spending so much time re-doing said pony that I honestly could've styled my hair completely at that point. Oh, well-the messy haired college chick seems all the rage anyhow. What is it with the girls that wear sweats or painted-on-very-tightly "exercise" pants, hair in a messy ponytail and then a full face of make-up on? I want to yell "You are fooling no-one with the rolled out of bed look, I know it took time to expertly apply your pounds of eyeliner!" But I digress. 

Oh to See the World!

Pyramids of Giza

Venice, Italy

What is your passion? For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to travel the world. When I was a small girl, I would take this globe that my parents had given me, close my eyes while putting my finger on its smooth surface, and spin it. Wherever my finger landed when the globe stopped spinning was the newest place I would travel to. I would make up adventures in my head of the faraway places, and later (when I got a bit older) would look them up in encyclopedias (this was pre-internet), and dream of Venice, Santorini, Queensland, Rejkjavik, Cairo...and many, many more places. In my early twenties when I was a young newlywed, poor as could be, living on Hamburger Helper and Ramen Noodles, I would take this passion a step further and get on the computer we had bought, and research places. I would price all kinds of trips and even make itineraries for these dream vacations, writing everything down in a journal. I drooled over pictures in National Geographic, and held tight my copy of 1,000 Places to See Before you Die. I was able to escape the dreariness of the one-bedroom apartment, and later the small rental when we moved to Oregon. It wasn't those walls that held me in, because in my head I was in a gondola floating the watery streets of Venice or atop a camel, touring the pyramids of Egypt.

Neuschwanstein Castle in Germany

Now, I use Pinterest to drool over the places I have never been but hope to go someday. I made Barrett promise me that we could renew our vows in front of a castle in Europe (Scotland or Germany) someday, preferably in the snow. It may sound weird to you, but I would live exactly the way we do now (which admittedly is pretty comfortably) and spend my entire salary when I become an RN on travelling. I know that isn't realistic, but do you ever find yourself getting older and realizing that your dreams are still so untouched? A picture to drool over is not enough. I want to be there and see these faraway lands in person. Some I want to go to with my husband by my side, and others I wish to show to my children too. The world holds so much wonder and glory...yet so often we contain ourselves within one city, or one state, one country...never wandering outside those comfortable walls. Travelling is an expensive hobby, but I still dream of the day that I can say it is mine.

Taj Majal in India

Bora Bora, French Polynesia

Anxious for a New Beginning

I have had many new beginnings in my life...especially within the last two years. There was a new relationship, leading to a new marriage, a new car, a new house, a new goal in life (centered on an old dream)-which lead to being a new student at Oregon State University first, and then Lane Community College...and now I await my newest beginning...in exactly 14 days I will begin training as a Certified Nurse Assistant!  I am anxious and excited. Like 85% excited and 15% anxious.  

Sarah fact...as often as I have had new careers (which I guess isn't too awfully bad at 3 jobs in the last 12 years!), I hate starting somewhere new. Okay, truthfully, it is a love-hate relationship. I like that I can become anyone I want to be by starting fresh. I loved the anonymity of moving to Oregon in 2002, because the only people here that knew me were family. Family doesn't get to decide whether they want to be around you or not! :) Family tends to be more accepting because yeah, they know your faults...but you know theirs, so it's pretty equal footing. But I digress. Why I am anxious is that even the idea of driving somewhere new gives me butterflies in my stomach. Oh, I'll do it...but let me throw up first. Just kidding, but I do get very worried about finding the new place. Then there is meeting the new people. I will be in a cohort of only like 10 people. What if they hate me? What if I find them obnoxious? What if my instructor is mean, or if I can't grasp the skills I need? I know logically that this all should be fine, but I still worry...you know? I worry about long days on my feet and being coordinated enough to learn the skills I need, having the perseverance to keep going when I am tired, and having a poker face when I have to deal with something really gross. Oh, and the fact that I can't even have my cell phone on me, like for 4 hours at a time?! I could miss something, you know? :)

 I am also so incredibly excited. This is the first step that makes me feel closer to being a nurse, like I get a peek into the world, hopefully part-time employment as well when I am finished with the training, and a set of skills that are important and needed. In case you are wondering what CNAs actually do, let me enlighten you. 

List of CNA Job Duties 

• Check and record vitals
• collect urine and fecal specimens
• measure intake and output 
• report and record observations of patient's conditions
• check and pass food trays
• feed patients
• assist with bedpans
• give enemas
• turn and position patients
• move and transport patients to wheelchair or walker
• assist with ambulation (walking, getting up and moving)
• bathe patients
• provide hair and nail care
• give oral hygiene or denture care
• shave patients
• assist with dressing patients
• assist with patient comfort and anxiety relief (being available, backrubs, hot and cold applications)
• document care provided

This is just a quick list, and I know that a lot of the duties may seem gross, but they are also things that are necessary to providing good care for a patient. 

Do I ever worry that I will think this job is not for me? Yes. That is part of the 15% anxiety. There's that voice that says "But what if you hate it, Sarah? What if it is really gross? What then? Are you going back to teaching? Was this all for nothing?" The little  voice is obnoxious and can really ramble on, filling me with doubts (you probably have an annoying little voice too...maybe ours should hang out and distract one another!). There's also a part of me, probably related to said little voice that says "Do you have a plan B?"

But right now? Plan A is the one I am focused on. 14 days...and counting!

What Weight Loss Really Means

I have posted before about weight, and about the cringe-worthy fact that I currently weigh what I did nine months pregnant. Now, here is the honest truth about weight gain, weight loss and loving the body you are in.    I was underweight before I had my first son, and though I had a healthy BMI, I was at the bottom range and could use to gain a few (maybe 10) pounds. It wasn't a ton, but it was enough to make me look very thin, and my face pretty gaunt. The thing was though that I ate whatever I wanted (I was the girl you love to hate), and I must have had insanely high metabolism. The last time I went to the doctor I was ten pounds over the upper range of  my healthy BMI, and though she said I could lose about 10-15 pounds, she also said she was not concerned, especially after my cholesterol and blood sugar levels checked out normal. I do not put 100% faith and stock into BMI, especially when used on men, because it always puts them insanely low, but it does give me an idea of m y "healthy" range.

Barrett and I began Weight Watchers again almost a week ago. You may be thinking it too, as some have asked-Why would you do that to yourself before the holidays? Our answer, (as we both felt the same)-there would always be some excuse to wait for. First it would be Thanksgiving, and then Christmas. Then my birthday following closely behind on New Year's Day. Well, Barrett's birthday is in February...and we may take a vacation in March or April...you get my drift? It would never happen. :) So, I am proud to say that not only did we make it through Thanksgiving, but we made it through the holiday while away from home at the cabin we like to rent. We planned ahead, took healthy snacks, bought no food while we were away, and made a holiday meal complete with a crustless pumpkin pie. Was it hard? Sort of. Did we feel deprived? A few times, yes. But we are also proud that we were able to go away and eat a fairly normal holiday meal without overdoing it. There was lots of snacking on fresh veggies and apples.

It has only been a week. But so far Barrett is down 4 pounds, and I was down 2 last I weighed in (we suck at waiting to weigh-in only once a week!). It is good progress, and we have exercised almost every day. This time, I can tell you what works and what does not. Clean out your pantry and fridge before you even start a diet plan (or you will eat the unhealthy stuff!). Do not deprive yourself (if doing WW, save points for the things you know you really want, while eating a salad for a meal you don't care as much about). Get off your butt and get on a bike, treadmill, do yoga, or walk...whatever it takes. Playing a video game while I ride a stationary bike makes me almost forget I am doing it! Crank up the music, work out with your spouse or friends, or your kids. And take it slow. Never (EVER!) wait to look and feel good until you lose every pound you want to lose. That is malarkey!!! Reward yourself, yes, but if you want that new sweater, buy it in the size you are now (or in your newest size as you lose), because it makes you feel good. Baby steps. But we will get there. :)

A Season of Thankfulness

I love this time of year. From about September through the beginning of January (my 31st birthday is coming!), really is my favorite. First you have back-to-school, and even though I am no longer teaching, I love the excitement, the school supplies, and the fact that Matt is thrilled to go see what his year will hold! Then you have the leaves changing color, and warm days ending with brisk nights. I will admit that I am not a huge fan of Halloween, though we do let the kids dress up and trick-or-treat, and I do like the pumpkin carving, corn mazes and harvest type stuff, I just hate scary stuff and disgusting costumes. :) I keep vowing to Barrett that we WILL have a costume party some year for adults (on a different day obviously so as not to interfere with candy collecting by the kiddos) , and that it COULD be really fun :)! I love the weather turning colder, and the rain coming. I have been an Oregonian now for 10 years, and I still enjoy the rain, though I do get sick of it come springtime. Most of all, I love the stretch from about now (just a few days before Thanksgiving) until Christmas. It is such a fun and magical time with my kids, and now with my husband as well.

I know that this time of year we are all asked to recount our blessings, so I will encourage you if you have not done it yet to jot a quick list of yours. Hang it somewhere you can see it often, that way when you are having a bad day, you can remind yourself of all the things that are going right in your life. When I was a teenager, I had it pretty good. We had all we needed and most of what we wanted too. I never had to share my parents, I had friends, and I got excellent grades. But, being a teenager, I also had the angst and insecurities that all teens have at some point and would have some pretty rough days. My mom (see, I remember, Mom!) would tell me to count my blessings, to actually write them out, and to also list the things that were going wrong. She always reminded me that she was positive that if I truly thought about it, the blessings would never cease to outnumber the bad things. And you know what? She was right. Every time.

My Blessings

• I found love again, and have never been happier. My husband is a huge blessing.
• My sons. They bring me joy and let me see the world in a new way. Both are uniquely special.
• I am thankful for my mom and dad, for their help and friendship, but also that they are both in amazing health. 
• I am thankful to be part of Barrett's family, and am also thankful for the family that I have kept both through my former marriage, and for the introduction to my ex's new family (wife, daughters)
• My pets. Rya (our yellow lab) rarely strays and keeps the house guarded, and loves on the boys, and Max (our puppy) has wormed his way into my heart. Even Angelica (our kitty), is affectionate and warm.
• I am thankful for Matthew's transition at a new school that has been wonderful for him so far, the big yellow bus that gets him safely there and home again, and the teacher that communicates with me and welcomes me in.
• I am thankful for both Isaiah's time with me, as well as with my dad, knowing both are necessary and plentiful. 
• My relationship with Greg & Heidi, because co-parenting in a loving and cooperative manner is of utmost importance.
• My journeys. Somedays I miss teaching. I find myself in Matt's classroom, relating to the kids as though I am their teacher...but my studies are interesting to me. Anatomy was hard, but I loved it, and I am so excited to be a CNA, and hopefully one day an RN!
• I am thankful that I am getting to find my passions. Human rights, parenting, healthcare and women's issues have all ignited the fire inside me. 
• I am thankful for our home. It is a haven to me. I love the property, and being away from town. There's food in the fridge, warmth and relaxation.
• Good books. They are my escape, and take me to new worlds. 
• Friends. They are few, but special. 
• Health. My migraines and overactive bladder are both finally (mostly) under control!
• I am thankful for all that Barrett provides while I am in school, and thankful too for his company's health insurance and other benefits, and a job that he truly doesn't mind doing. :)

For all these things (and many more), I am thankful to a merciful God that doesn't care how many times I fall, just that I keep trying to get back up.

Just waiting...

Do you ever feel like too much of your life is spent just waiting? Sometimes I get down and feel it is all I ever do-wait, wait, wait. Wait for the bus, wait for a call, wait for the text, wait for an email, wait for Barrett to get home, the kids to be bigger, nursing school to begin and then be over. Waiting makes me irritable and in edge. I am trying to be positive. It doesn't help that I am not a patient person; at all! Sometimes I think I may go insane with all the waiting. I need to be doing... Or just curl up with a good book and ignore all the waiting I guess.

Family Time is Time That Matters

This topic has been weighing on my mind-how can families actually have fun together? Is the fun something that needs to be scheduled? Is it important for children? How do parents in today's busy world find the quality and quantity time needed to connect with their children?

My schedule right now is sort of weird and borne of necessity. I am in school just twice a week, but school is in Eugene and my available (and awesome) help is in Lebanon. So in a typical week I am home Monday with just Isaiah, and on Monday afternoon I take him to my parents. Isaiah stays with my dad while my mom is at work and I am at school. He is there Tuesday-Thursday afternoon. On Wednesday I have no class, and no children home during the day but in order to be more efficient with gas (read: money), Isaiah stays in Lebanon. Wednesdays I get homework done, errands, housework, and usually get to spend some extra time with Barrett as Wednesdays he works at home. Back to school all day Thursdays and then finally, both boys are home with me on Friday (Matt has school 4 days a week). This means in a typical week that is not shared with my ex-husband (as two weekends a month are), Matthew is home all 7 nights (unless invited to spend one weekend night with Nan and Pop), and Isaiah is here 4 nights. It is kind of crazy, but we get used to the changes in schedule, and the boys are very used to having 3 "homes" that they go between.  I say all that to let you, my readers, know that life can be done even when it is crazy. I spend 3+ hours each week just driving the children where they need to go (and it was even more during soccer season!).

While Barrett and I do pretty great at some parenting tasks, others I feel we could definitely improve upon . 
What things do you do well as a parent in regards to time spent with your children? And what could you change?

The Good

• Dinner is eaten together as a family every night, usually around the exact same time.
• Breakfast together in the morning before work and school.
• Each son has allocated chores that they do on a 1-2 times per week basis and get a (small) allowance for.
• A blessing is said before every meal. 
• Time spent with Matt (and Zay too when he is here) each weeknight equals about 2-4 hours, but is often just 30-60 minutes of "quality" time, while the rest is spent with "stuff".
• Matthew's homework is done every night (reading to us).
• Days that I am home with one or both boys I often have a recipe that we make, a craft (If I am really on it), some school time with math and/or reading activities, snuggle time, I read to them, and some outside time at the park or errands with mom.
• Finally, the boys are getting old enough to do some more interesting things, so sometimes we play the Wii together.

The Bad

• Often "together time" is met by lounging on the couch and watching a movie (and sometimes I read or play on my laptop)
• Sometimes Barrett or I (or both!) are too tired to put much effort into quality time.
• Sometimes I feel like I don't know how to entertain the kids and don't want to have to.
• Sometimes I am irritable, feeling quiet, and just want children in bed. 
• Often I have to fake interest in my son's homework (have you ever read (or listened to) the beginning reader books? I keep telling him reading only gets better!)

While the good outweigh the bad, I feel that we could do better. I would guess that you too are in the same boat. First of all, does this time with our children really matter? Click on the links provided below. A few are from Europe, but they definitely apply, as you can see that we Americans do the exact same things.

What Our Children Need is Time  While this is an article about the UK, notice where the USA ranks on the child well-being list!

The Importance of Family Dinner Eating as a family can lead to better school performance, healthier attitudes about food, less stress, and decreased risk of teenage drug use.

Parent's Spoil Children, but Often Just Co-Exist Under the Same Roof An article about how fancy toys and expensive gadgets are not really what children want from us.

So, hopefully we are in agreement that children indeed do need as much quality time as you can give them (which will vary day-to-day). That being said, what are some fun things you can do with your kids? B and I often have trouble with this as a lot of the kids' ideas of fun do not sound all that appealing to us, or the ones that do are expensive. 

Anytime Can be Quality Time

Great Free and Inexpensive Family Fun

Hopefully this gives you some ideas too! Happy Parenting!

Just Friends? When Friendships Cross the Line...

Ask any man or woman if they think that men and women are capable of being friends, and you will get a huge variety of answers. It depends the age of the person you are asking, their current relationship status, their past romantic history, etc. Just like any other somewhat personal question, people bring their past and present situation and experiences into the mix, forming an answer that works for them. I am amused that this question that seems so simple is usually peppered with the "only if" statements. These are qualifications (and my rebuttals below) that go something like this:

• Only if there is a huge age gap. (Hmmm...Demi and Ashton anyone?)
• Only if there is no sexual attraction from either party. (And how do you tell? Simple, just use the Sex-o-tracto-meter!)
• Only if they have never dated before. (This still leaves billions of possibilities...)
• Only if the women are lesbian and the men gay. (I have heard this statement, though will hint that from a past experience...it doesn't matter.)
• Only if they are really ugly or fat. (Again, read below...doesn't matter)

My entire post is written on the premise of friendships for married couples, so if this does not apply to you-don't get your panties in a bundle. First off, my take is that a man and woman can have friends of the opposite sex under specific circumstances only. My gut answer says no, and Barrett and I had a lively discussion about this forming a list of "rules" the other day! The great thing was that we agreed, and he really felt his definitions had changed since becoming a married man. The first thing that I would like to say is that man and woman were created to be together, to fulfill one another, and to make one another complete. Friendship with someone of the opposite sex, therefore, automatically puts you on a very slippery slope. All too often the "friend" that you talk to at work becomes the person you gripe to about your marriage, the person that tells you how nice you look, and that innocently flirts with you when no one else is around. Stop right there. Did you see the use of the adverb innocently? I am here to tell you as someone that has been through a divorce and is on her second marriage that what starts out as "innocent" (and remember this is defined by none other than the people doing the flirting!) is often really not that innocent. When something is lacking in a marriage, that friend at work (or the gym, coffee shop, wherever) is meeting a need that you are not getting from your spouse. Maybe they listen. Maybe they notice you. Maybe they see you in a different light. While it may make you feel great (I have been there, believe me!), what does it do to your marriage? Have you ever noticed that often you will hear about or see someone who was unfaithful to their spouse and you will think, But she's so pretty, I can't believe he cheated...and that other girl isn't even that great to look at. Admit it. We have all had thoughts like that. But you see, the thing is that the other person doesn't have to be that pretty or handsome or whatever...they just have to fulfill a need that is not being met in the current relationship. This is how an innocent flirtation becomes something where feelings are also involved, and then you have an affair on your hands friends. Oh, maybe you would never cheat, but if you have been in this situation, your hands are not clean, because you have had an emotional affair. It is your spouse, not any other person, who is supposed to be the one fulfilling these very intimate (though non-sexual) needs. 

I think you have to decide what works for your situation, though I will give you my own guidelines as well in case you need a jumping off point. If you have never had this conversation before with your spouse, it's time. Barrett and I decided that the only friendships we are comfortable with is those with other couples. This means that I have no problem hanging out with men and women we are both friends with, and would be okay with calling up the husband to help plan things for a surprise for the wife. This does not mean hanging out with the man without my husband present or he with the wife. Friendliness with people in the work or school setting is okay, but is limited to that setting, which means no texts, emails, phone calls that are not work related, and lunch with a female co-worker (for B), or with a male classmate (for me) is not acceptable unless we are in a big group. These are pretty strict rules, but I believe they are there for a reason. Marriage is the single most important relationship you will ever have. Your spouse has the power to build you up or break you down. Never take this power you have over someone else's heart lightly.

There is an old saying about erecting a hedge around your marriage (and a great blog post I have linked to below about just this!), but as you will read, she points out that it is possible to see through the hedge if I really try, and even stick my arm through. She urges to erect a wall around your marriage. I told Barrett this and we liked the saying so much that we decided our marriage would be within a brick fortress. When things are going well, bricks are added to fortify the wall, and when things are a bit rocky, bricks are removed. During these times we need to be more sensitive to one another, as the world is visible through the holes in the wall.  Our goal is a solid brick encampment around the two of us. This simply means not letting others in. It is a fortress not meant to be shared.

Recommended light reading.

1. Erect a Wall How to keep your marriage safe.
2. Are You in Trouble? When you are damaging your marriage.
3. Recent Study About Male/Female Friendships  And the research shows...

Be Your Mate's Best Friend...

I know that I take days off at a time where I write nothing at all, and I am always slightly scared that my readership will go away, and then pleasantly surprised that when I write, there are readers once again. I am thankful for that because I enjoy writing, but also grateful that I will never feel like a slave to having to write...make sense? Anyhow, sometimes my absence is due to me just feeling extra introverted and quiet, other times because I truly am busy with school or my kids, but more often than not it will be because I am busy with my love. 

Many people can be so cynical around "newer" couples. They joke that the connectedness, the in-love feelings will go away at some point and that marriage will become dull. Others joke that life will become routine, a force of habit, and that any "romance" will have to be scheduled out, and it too will often be from feelings of obligation. I am here to tell you that this is unfortunate. This is simply a way to live that I hope to never engage in (again). While out with some friends this weekend, it was joked about that Barrett and I still had that "newlywed" glow about us, and when Barrett commented that this January we will have been together for 2 years, our friend said , "Wow! I guess I didn't realize it had been so long." Granted, two years is not that long in the grand scheme of things, but Barrett and I are closer now than ever, more in love now than the day we exchanged vows, more in awe of one another than when we were first falling in love. I'm not sure that we have stopped falling. Why stop? It is so wonderful. There is no better feeling in the world than the cocoon of warmth that exists around two people oblivious to the rest of the world. If this has been lost, if your relationship has become stagnant, I encourage you to get this back!

It is nice to hear people joke, and if it truly bothers anyone that yes, we do indeed hug and kiss (though not in a gross way!) in front of others, then they can turn away. Once Matthew remarked about just that. I joked that it must be terrible to have parents that liked each other so much. Conversations don't always run deep when you are the mother of young boys, but I can tell you that his shrug followed by his big grin  and six little words, "It's a lot better than fighting" said all I needed to know.  I am sobered by the fact that Matthew, unlike his little brother, is old enough to both remember some good times of his mom and dad together, but also lots of times with us at each other's throats. I am also reassured that yes, it is a good thing for a child to know his parents love one another.

So, how do you stay in love? How do you fall further with each passing day? I am going to tell you the secret, but you have to promise to take it for all it's worth, as likely you have heard it before and passed it off as cliche. Be your mate's best friend. Seriously. I cannot tell you what a difference this makes in a relationship. Not only do Barrett and I talk about anything and everything, but we make it a point to truly know one another's interests as well. We read some of the same books and discuss them. We watch movies the other one picks out. We read and then email news storied to each other that we think will interest them. I accompany him to do his hobbies and vice versa. Here's the key to the women reading...do you ever feel left out that your husband is gone? Is he off watching a game, deer hunting or fishing, and you are at home? Now ask yourself...has he ever invited you? Chances are that if your husband did and you went once and never again it was because you complained so much or showed such lack of interest that he figures he will do it without you. The secret that he may never tell you is that he actually wants you there. You may wonder why he has to do said hobby at all. Here's the thing, people should never have to give up something they love for someone they love, because if you love him (or her) you will try to understand that their interests are important to them. You will want to go along (even if sorting toenail clippings sounds like more fun), because you would rather be there with them than be apart. Make it part of your life too, even if just a small part.

That's the reason Barrett knew he could invite me to a gun show, and that I would attend with him. Other than my sarcastic quip ("why whatever does one wear to a gun show? Not sure Cosmo has ever covered this..."), he got reassurance the whole time that not only was his hobby okay, but that he could bring me into that world with him. 

Can you be your spouse's best friend? It's not too late. I read on a blog that I follow that there is no such thing as being too tired to make love (could not agree more!), but I am going to go one further, there is no such thing as being too busy to truly know your partner. Instead of recreating the wheel, I came across a few pointers I have included below. 

7 Ways to be Your Spouse's Best Friend...This is a great, quick read!

And finally, the quote we have decided to LIVE by..."Love one another when it is least deserved...because that is when it is needed the most."