When Giving Up is the Wrong Choice

This morning I had an early lunch with my former best friend. Those who know me really well and read my blog know that my best pal of 4+ years and I had a huge blow-out (which was not like us at all) way back in October, and that she moved five hours away at Christmas-time. We hadn't spoken in months. The day I interviewed for admission to the counseling program I realized I only had one enemy that I could think of, one person that I had truly wronged (and had felt wronged me), and it had been my best friend. That same day I couldn't get this person off my mind, so I finally gave in and emailed her. I had thought of her often, prayed for her more, and was just beginning to think that it was ridiculous that we let that happen. Ours was not a petty fight. Some really hurtful things were said on both sides, the kind of things you have a hard time forgetting...I mean, this was the same person I shared kid stories with, laughed with, prayed with, cried with, and yes, we had grown apart, but that was mostly my fault. I started thinking that most of what I had said had been with me being of the defensive, and me being angry, and that just possibly that was a lot of what she said too. So anyhow, I emailed-a heartfelt, I miss you, I know you are gone, but we really messed this up kind of email.

And I heard back. Right away. She felt the same way. We have emailed and chatted a few times, and no, it isn't quite the same, but it is good and it is close enough, and better than not at all. Today we had lunch. It was wonderful, and felt like home. I learned an important lesson, some things are too good to just throw away. It's like a favorite pair of jeans. You wear the heck out of them, because they feel good. They get loose and frayed edges, and you fix them, they get missing buttons or holes, and you mend them...they are just too good to give up. I feel blessed to have learned this lesson.

Look in the Mirror Girls...Marriage by Design

I am going to make some people angry with this post...so here is my disclaimer right here-if you don't like it-don't read it!

***This is for the many wives (and soon-to-be wives out there). 

Be the change you want to see, be the spouse you want to have, and never, ever quit looking for ways to make your partner happy. These are the ingredients to a happy marriage. 

Marriage matters.  Divorce sucks. Is that succinct enough for you? I never believed in divorce. I believed that all couples should try their very hardest to make things work before ever even considering severing those bonds. Am I the pot calling the kettle black? Yes, your memory serves you right, I indeed have been through a divorce after a 10 1/2 year marriage and 12 1/2 year relationship. We did try, but he chose to move on. It was a good choice now that I can look back on it, because we were not both willing to try to the same level and that can make all the difference, and because the words we used on a daily basis were becoming abusive, acidic and atrocious in front of our lovely sons. This gives me all the reason to do it right this time, and if you too, are on your second chance, count your blessings that there is a God above that believes in second chances too. 

I read 7-8 blogs on a daily basis by Christian women about parenting, marriage and sexuality in marriage (good stuff!). I will provide their links below in case you are curious. Yes, I have time on my hands to read, but honestly reading a few blogs takes a few minutes at a time spread over the course of the entire day, so you can too if you choose no matter how busy your life is. :)

I have a great marriage, wonderful even. Oh sure, you may be thinking that at 1 1/2 years married and only 2 together that we are still in the honeymoon stage. Let me tell you (and some of you are out there nodding your heads at this right now!), that the honeymoon stage is a lot shorter when you are blending kids, careers and moving into the mix. I will always respect Barrett for how he hit the ground running, taking on numerous new responsibilities, and did so like he was made for it. A man that can love your kids day-to-day as his own is a true gift, and if you are in a situation like mine, remember that your guy chooses each day to love you and your children with no reserve. No, I have a wonderful marriage because both my husband and I are fixers. We look for problems and fix them. We look for what works and do more of that, and we constantly take note of what makes the other happy.

One of the things I participate in is online "challenges" to romance my husband (link below). Each day I am given 5-6 suggestions, and I try to do 2-3 of the things on the list every single day. They are easy to do, and they let my husband know I appreciate him. This is where I make some of you mad. Women, it is your job to set the tone in your marriage. This may sound old-fashioned, but be what it may YOU have the power in your relationship to change the way things feel. Again, YOU set the tone. If you are bitchy, nagging constantly, you will set a tone of inadequacy in your home and of resentment. To counter, if you are loving and joyful, you will set this tone in your home. And...if you are romantic, your husband will be also! Seriously. I was reading on this blog I read a plethora of negative comments to this woman's suggestions to be the spouse you want to have. Women, when did we become so spiteful? Things like:

• "Why should I try-he doesn't do anything for me?" (Because serving others makes us feel good too!)
• "I am sick of cleaning up after him, why would I want to romance him?" (Because it shows him that you love him and need him.)
• "If I kiss him, he will just get all grabby." (So???  Grab back!)

I am sadly including just a few of the real honest to God comments that I read (my thoughts not in Italics). Wow. This is the man you chose to spend your life with. Are you really going to let some dirty socks and resentment get in the way of having a better marriage...one that will make you BOTH happier? If so, seems awfully petty to me. Unless your husband is abusive or unfaithful (in which case you need to RUN, girl!), he is a man that deserves your love, respect and commitment to your marriage each and every day. Do not speak poorly of your mate to others. Do not nag him relentlessly to get your way, and NEVER, EVER use sex as a weapon-do not withhold when he needs your touch to feel loved. Why don't you try forgiving him, even if he hasn't apologized?

You set the tone. Do you want him to notice you? Notice him. Did he trim his beard lately or wear a different shirt today?  Do you want him to help around the house? Help him with a project he cares about. Offer to help clean his man cave or go do a hobby with him. Do you want to be sweetly romanced and even seduced by your husband? Show him what you want (he will be more than willing). You see, men need to know that they are doing something right. TELL him what you love about him. Tell him thank you for working each day (even though you may too), tell him you love the fact that he can fix things in your home, how handsome he looks, or that you really enjoy when he kisses you just like that. They need positive affirmation. You may think like those women I quoted above that you do enough, and he needs to do more. I respectfully disagree with part of that statement. While he may indeed need to step it up a bit, unless you are giving 100% to be the kind of loving wife that literally grows a loving husband, then NO, you are not doing enough either. Be it the way of the world to tell you that you deserve more. I am telling you (except for in extreme situations), you deserve what you have; you reap what you sow. 

The things I am doing take maybe an extra 30 minutes a day. Maybe. But the rewards are huge. Yesterday, I made a dinner that Barrett loves. On purpose. I was going to cook anyway, why not spoil him? I touched up my make-up and put my hair up the way he loves. I lit candles downstairs in our room, had the lights dimmed upstairs, and had classical music playing when he came home. The kids were here. They had helped pick up the house, and they too, seemed to thrive in the beautiful atmosphere that I was purposely setting up in our home, an atmosphere that said our home, our family and our time is beautiful. In our bathroom I had taken a red lipstick and written I love you always on our mirror and underneath planted a red lipstick kiss. Barrett said it made him smile to see it this morning when getting out of the shower, and that it should always be there. That took less than 2 minutes of my time, to let my husband know how much I love him. Easy stuff, ladies. We just have to do it. I don't know about you, but I got a husband who cleaned up the dishes from the meal I made him, interacted with our boys, and held me close in his arms all night long (I will leave out the other stuff!!!). This is the marriage I dream of. 

Be purposeful. Be diligent. Be loving. Be respectful. Be beautiful. Design the marriage you want to have, and I assure you the rest will follow.

Marriage Blogs I follow:

•  Intimacy in Marriage
• Hot, Holy, and Humorous
• Happy Wives Club
• Time Warp Wife
• 14 Day Romancing Your Husband Challenge

Sunshine, Here I come...in 5 days

This coming Sunday I will be flying down to Camarillo, California to help Barrett's grandparents begin packing/sorting through their things for their upcoming move to Oregon. I will be there 5 nights, and it will be the longest I have been away from Barrett since before we were even married! Since we met, actually, and it makes me sad, but needs to be done all at the same time. Barrett cannot go, as he is saving all his vacation for when we go on our tropical trip (something I may have convinced him to do yearly-since he enjoyed our trip to Maui last year so much!), and I am certainly okay with that! On that note, after much research, we ended up picking Cozumel, Mexico after finding a top-notch resort running a 50% off sale, and reading about the snorkeling there, and the fact that it has little night-life (something we introverts both want). Anyhow, I do have to say that I am getting kind of excited despite the fact that I will miss Barrett like crazy. I get to pack sundresses, flip-flops and t-shirts to go, as it has been in the mid to upper 70's there-though with my luck it'll cool down a bit.

I was going to go alone, the point is me helping after-all, but after much consideration we decided that I am taking Matthew with me. Matt has loved the fact that I am home more, and helping with a few things here and there for his class, but he is so jealous of the fact that Isaiah is home with me almost everyday while he is at school, even to the point that he has asked on more than one occasion that I just home school him. It makes me sad. Matthew excls in school, makes friends readily, and I think he needs to be there, but I understand and secretly also love the fact that he would rather be with me. As a teacher, I always wondered about those parents that pulled kids out of school for a trip, and thought it was kind of ridiculous that they couldn't do it during the summer...BUT, after talking to Matt's teacher ahead of time, and him about getting to go, I think he can handle it, and it will do him good. He is of an age where he can also be helpful, and will thrive with the special attention from both grandparents and mom. He is thrilled to fly for the first time, and to go to Santa Barbara and see a beach with palm trees on it! Furthermore, Barrett's grandparents are just tickled to get some time with Matt. The tough thing (there is always a tough thing when parenting, isn't there?) is that Isaiah is not going. While he is excited to spend some special time with both his dad and then his Pop, I had to explain to Isaiah that for this type of trip I felt he would have more fun staying here. I think he understood, but he did ask me, "Mommy, do I get to fly with you sometime?" To which of course I answered, "absolutely, when you are a bit older and we are going on a true vacation-you bet!" The fact is that Isaiah will not be entertained with boxing up books, sorting through dishes and furniture, and actually helping to pack. Matt will (as long as we throw in some fun stuff here and there, which we fully intend to!).

I also made the decision that my trusty old laptop is staying at home. The poor thing is on its last legs, and the thought that it may perish soon may really panic me if it weren't for the fact that my awesome tech savvy husband has been backing up all my pictures and documents and has an extra laptop that will likely become mine...but still, mine is pretty. Anyhow, I am leaving all laptops at home. I do not want the trip to be detracted from by needing to watch a movie on the plane, check FaceBook or Pinterest, or be otherwise engaged with the virtual world. It is not like we don't use computers, Netflix and video games on a daily basis in our home...but we do limit the kids' time with them, and I want to be fully engaged with my son and he with me and the world around him than "plugging him in" (though I will have my phone!).

Are You a Mom in a Rut?

As I was drinking my coffee this morning and skimming some of the great pins I had found on Pinterest, I felt so incredibly blessed to be where I am in my life right now. I have not always been a great mom to my sons. I have had many times where I was so preoccupied with work, school and my own relationships (both old and new), that sadly the boys were often an afterthought. Oh, I went through the motions, but they know when your focus is not on them. Not that I am fantastic now,  because I have also had my tough days home where I questioned my own self worth for not being at a job, or feelings of boredom or sadness have rained on the day. What is it about that debate over working moms and stay-home moms. Are they not both trying their hardest to be mothers? Why is it that women break each other down instead of building one another up? I can honestly say now after being in both situations, that being a good mom can happen in either circumstance, and that no one should feel guilty for their situation as long as they are giving their kids as much as they can of themselves. 

Are you a stay-at-home mom who has found yourself in a rut? My heart goes out to you this morning. Though I have only been doing this for almost three months now, and my own schedule can get crazy with whether I sub or not, I do have some words of advice that I hope you will take to heart.

• This is only a season. Maybe your child/children have some annoying habits right now. That WILL change eventually. Meet them where they are, correct lovingly, and focus on what they do right.
• Have fun. Make messes, try new foods, get out of your comfort zone. You only live once, right? As my mom says..."Hands are washable." (love you Mom!)
• Get a project (or 5). Have a few fun things that you and your kids work on together, like a garden, a scrapbook, a science project that is ongoing (I just got one of those grow your own butterfly kits to do with boys!).
• Leave the house. Seriously!!! This can make all the difference in the world. Go to the park, the library, go on a walk, play fetch with your dog. Fresh air and a change of scenery puts life in perspective.
• Be thankful. Many moms would give anything to be home full-time. It is not a curse, but a blessing that  your life circumstances allow you to be where you are. 
• Start some traditions. If you are a believer, read devotions each morning. Light candles at dinner, make a bubble bath for your kid when they are having a rough day-all these little things are BIG for routine, stability and happiness in the home.
• Work together. Teach your children that the home is a place where everyone contributes. Put on music and assign chores to each person to get done in 30 minutes. 
• Find some great ideas on Pinterest for crafts and activities...only here's the thing...don't just pin for later...actually make time, make a plan and try the things that look so cool!
• Call a friend. Make a play-date. Talk to another adult. 
• Tell your kids you love them. Often. Always, even when they irritate you! :)

The Love Day

It has been awhile since I have given the history of anything much thought, but the histories (yes, plural) of Valentine's Day are pretty interesting. Seems there is a Christian account and a Pagan one, and both are pretty captivating stories. For a short summary go here: History of Valentine's Day. Anyhow, I have been trying to make a big deal out of things at the house (creating some cool memories and traditions), with me being home most of the time and all, so we have been baking (all Weight Watcher's desserts, lol!), decorating and talking about Valentine's Day all week. I was explaining that Valentine's Day is a day that we show people we love them and are kind to everyone...at least that was my simple explanation to my 4 year-old. As I was telling him this, I felt silly, and said to him "Well, I guess every day should be like that, shouldn't it?" He agreed.

Finger-painted rainbows

A Valentine's Day lunch fit for a king...or a small boy.

I am blessed to have found the love and the joy that I have in my life. It feels each day as though I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I will continue to sub here and there, but I am beginning to really enjoy my time in the home. I am excited that we have talked about this being the plan as I continue with school in the Fall. Though I hope to accelerate the program, and take 3 classes every 8 weeks instead of 2, it will still keep me here quite a bit. I am finding my rhythm with Isaiah, and have made a stay-home schedule that we both really thrive on. If you want to see it to give you ideas, feel free to let me know. I have focused a lot on reading, crafts and cooking together. These are things we both enjoy. I read in this great book I am reading that the best way to parent your child is to let them see who you are, to introduce them to things you like, and to share your passions with them. They won't like everything you do, but you won't be bored trying to be someone you aren't. I love this advice! This means that Isaiah (and Matthew on Fridays) gets exposed to nature, animals, artwork, different types of music, cooking, science, and things I find beautiful. Have you ever noticed how just the simple addition of something YOU love in a room can improve your mood tremendously? I have silk flowers in the bathrooms, real ones in the kitchen, candles throughout the house, and children's artwork to decorate for the seasons/holidays. These things make me happy, and when I am happy I set the tone for my kids (and often my sweet hubby too).

He is crazy excited to have Sierra Mist and cupcakes!

While Barrett and I do not have any big couple type plans for Valentine's Day, nor are we exchanging gifts, I have set out to make the day a special one for everyone. This took a bit of planning and the help of Pinterest, but both boys have heart-shaped sandwiches and red foods for lunch tomorrow, we have decorated the kitchen with hearts that have been finger-painted by the boys, we baked strawberry cupcakes, and for dinner tomorrow I have planned pink pancakes with berries and cool whip, as well as Shirley Temple type fancy sodas for the boys. I have learned that making a big deal out of the little things (in a good way!) makes a fun, happy home.

Confessions of a Substitute Teacher

Dear Classroom Teacher, 

I am your sub while you are out sick, off learning teaching techniques, or playing hooky. I will do my best to care for your classroom and your students, but at the end of the day-I get to go home and not worry about this again. Thank you for the lesson plans you left that require leaving already squirrely kids sitting in  their desks for over an hour. Was this left purely to test my resolve, or did you honestly think it would be easy to fill their time with worksheets and mine with the job of classroom policeman?  I will loosely follow the lessons you left, giving breaks when needed. I will bribe your students with candy, the promise of games, and perhaps an art lesson or two. I will read the stories I brought, because they are more likely to hold the interest of your class, because they are new and different. Quite honestly, if you left me with no lesson plans, and gave me enough notice, you would find me capable of making my own that would keep the kids better entertained so that they were only vaguely aware that they were even learning. I am not criticizing your teaching style whatsoever, as a former teacher, I know that what you leave for a sub is based purely on keeping your students busy while you are gone, and that some subs cannot be trusted to get even the bare minimum done. I remember. 

It is not my classroom, it is not my classroom, it is not my classroom is the mantra that I will repeat over and over again in my head as I look at the messy desk, disordered bookshelves and general disarray of the room. I want to fix it so bad, but have a feeling that me completely reorganizing and cleaning your classroom would not be welcome. Can I do that instead of babysit the kids? I digress. Little Annie in the front row? She is a whiner. I would not send her to the office for countless fever checks and band-aids  She seemed just fine to me. Johnny over in the corner did no work today despite repeated warnings from me and loss of part of a recess (which just meant more work for me). If he were my student, I truly would worry about this problem, but as your sub I will just tell you-he did nothing. As long as he stayed remotely quiet, it was no longer worth a battle. Oh, and cute little Derick in the corner? Yes, his desk is probably still a mess, and you may have fainted if you saw that he spilled his water-color cup not once, not twice, but three times. He's probably the type of kid you may cringe about even touching paints...BUT he seemed so happy, didn't struggle at all with art like all the other subjects, and I loved seeing him succeed and getting to champion his talents in front of his peers. For how big his smile was, I will come shampoo your carpets at your liking. 

Please don't tell me about the "trouble" kids. I know you are trying to help me, but it just makes me sad. I want to go in for my day or two filling in for you with fresh eyes, not biased already toward a kid I have never met. Though know that when you do tell me about these kids (and maybe you should for this reason), I will do my best to see them in the exact opposite way. They will become my helpers, receive tons of praise and smiles, and probably have one of their best days in school ever. Little Jake that you described as a "hellion"? He was awesome for me...not a problem in the world. He was helpful, energetic, and eager to please. Perhaps you do get more flies with honey...or whatever that saying is. Don't be surprised when my note back to you indeed has your trouble-maker's names, letting you know what awesome kids they were for the day...and don't be surprised when they ask you if I am ever coming back, because I gave them a chance.

I know that these are your kids, and this is your space day-in and day-out. I have the utmost respect for you. Teaching is tough. Your kids are in good hands with me. The main thing to remember is that I will not be YOU, no matter how detailed your plans, and this is on purpose. I will be me, and they will have fun, they will respect me and follow my rules even if they are different than yours. I will keep order, even if that means imposing consequences, and I will take fondly to the kids that no one else seems too, because they too, need a day in the sun.

Sincerely,
Your Sub

Super Sub Essentials

I just spent the entire last week subbing. Lucky for me, 2 of the 3 districts I sub for are on 4 day weeks, so I didn't even have to make it through a whole 5 days...THANK GOD! :) I spent 1 day in a second grade classroom, and three more in a third grade class. Each night I was filled with anxiety...oh not because the kids were that awful, but because I don't do new situations, or situations where I don't feel completely in control very well. It's enough to make me want to puke honestly. But I am proud of myself that I made it. I had fun (at times), wanted to cry (at times), and ended my week soaking in a bubble bath last night with a glass of wine while Barrett cooked dinner-hey, it was medicinal. 

I learned a lot about substitute teaching the last few weeks-call it baptism by fire. I have now had 6 sub jobs, which still is not much, but I can tell you in my opinion, high school is easiest. If you have subbed, are thinking of subbing, or just want a good laugh, read on as I tell it like it is. As I know from formerly being a full-time classroom teacher, teachers leave subs a bunch of busy work for students to complete, or not enough work at all. Plan ahead. You will have complaining kids and likely a lot of down time that you have to fill. In my sub bag, here is what I have for grade school:

• a soft Nerf ball (for an impromptu or completely bribed for game of Silent Ball)
• Suckers (again for bribing)
• a whistle
• band-aids (I keep cool pink or blue camo ones)
• a discipline plan (more on this in a minute)
• personal necessities for me (Advil, migraine meds, deodorant, chapstick)
• 2-3 stories to read, picture books. I love Dr. Seuss, The Tale of Brother Rabbit, and Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day...These work for grades K-4 or so in my opinion.
• story starters (this is a great website: Free Illustrated Story Starters)
• sidewalk chalk (make sure this is ok with schools though!)
• If I know ahead what they are covering, I may bring in my own short worksheet or activity for like a science lesson. 
• word searches (website: Free Word Searches)
• A DVD of a Disney movie...just in case!

For high school, I take out the story books and story starters, but try to take something slightly "fun" for them to do together, like a scavenger hunt type thing that they use to fill in information about classmates, a short personality test...that kind of thing. For an English class I would also take a fun activity that has to do with poetry (maybe Haiku because they are easy) or creative writing. I used to do "quick writes" in third grade where I would give a topic and then time the students for 5 minutes as they wrote whatever came to mind on that topic. I think this would totally work for upper grades too.

-(Icebreaker: Free Printable Icebreaker for High School Kids)

For me, art is a great time filler. I tend to think in a very artistic way, though I lack the talent, and I love coming up with art ideas and seeing what blossoms in students. This week I was in the same classroom for 3 days, and the teacher trusted me a lot to have some freedom in her classroom because I have previously taught third grade. I did an art lesson where we talked about cool and warm colors, and did a water color painting of various colored stripes. Once this was dry the students took black, dark blue and purple construction paper and used scrapbook (wavy) scissors to cut out mountains and trees. These were glued on top of the watercolor stripes giving the project the look of a sunrise or sunset with silhouettes. They turned out great!

Subbing is basically surviving for one (or more) days. You are not taking over, you have very little say, but you CAN keep order and do some things of your own. I found out quickly that I need to come in with my own discipline plan (again it is much more to the point with older kids, as in I will kick you out if you don't behave). I go over in the morning my short list of rules (basically normal stuff like: we remain seated, we raise our hands to be called on, we don't talk when others are talking, and we keep our hands and feet to ourselves). I also write a sentence on the board. I use Always Show Respect. I tell them that as a class, if they are too noisy or not on task, I will erase letters. If there is a letter left at 20 minutes until the end of the day, we play a game (or do art). Believe it or not, it is that simple, and the kids police each other. For individual incentives, I tell them that if I have to get onto them for misbehaving their name goes on the board. This is a warning. If they get 1 check after name, they owe me half of their next recess, and 2 checks is the whole recess. If they got to 3 they would go to the office. At the end of the day if their name has not been on the board, they get a sucker. I have used this all week and only had to take half a recess away from 6 kids (in 4 days that's not bad at all).

On another note, the lessons left for you are typically pretty flexible. Again, they are almost always filler. I am not saying to not do them, but I am saying that if your sub notes say Do Reading Workbook from 9-10 am, and it is 9:30 AM and the kids are so restless they could scream, move things along. These plans are not set in stone, and the teacher would love to use you again if he/she can later on...so show that you can be flexible too. Go to the next activity, take a break for a story, or (with younger kids) take a quick restroom and drink break. It can make all the difference in the world. 

That's all for now...but my own confessions from substitute teaching coming soon.  Sure to make you laugh...and maybe cry too. :)

Truth Is...

The truth is that I was an excellent student. I was the type that people hate, because school has always been easy for me (except Math, which I got B's and C's in). Texting with a former student who is like a daughter to me, she insinuates that I too, must have been as wild as the 3rd graders I was subbing today. Ha! I thought. That came later. I was a goody-two-shoes, know-it-all child in grade school that excelled in everything. Now, in junior high, I was the popular, friendly, outgoing, athletic (believe it or not!) girl. Call me the "queen bee". I say that because I think that often with my former students they are mistaken that I was the snotty, bratty, yet popular girl in high school. Not so. I had mellowed a lot between junior high and high school truth be told, and in high school was shy, with just a handful of close friends, but many friendly acquaintances, and I was not a pain in the butt to teachers...at least not like I was in junior high. Then? Yes, I was indeed rowdy, talkative and mouthy at times. In high school, I will admit that though I got good grades, and though I was quieter, I did have a few downfalls: boys, and manipulating the system. Hear me out. I have always liked boys...I never remember thinking they had cooties! Though I was never quite a tomboy, and though in the way that I dress and carry myself I may seem like the girly girl, I have never been interested in the petty squabbles that girls can have. Things like I can't believe she kissed that guy, or did you see what she was wearing, or Mary has no right to like the guy I like...those things do not interest me at all. In fact, they anti-interest me. In that way, I have always felt like at least part of my mind was more aligned with how boys think. Boys tend to tell it like it is, they see the big picture, and they don't worry as much about other people's business. Because of that, I often had boy friends and boyfriends throughout both junior high and high school. I think I still relate to boys better, and it's probably no accident that I have sons.  Now, confession time here. By manipulating the system I am referring to the fact of life that students who get good grades and are generally quiet get away with more. For example, I was getting a 'C' in one of my high school math classes, and I didn't even attend it once a week. The teacher probably should have cared, but I was quiet and got great grades in other classes, so he let me go practice my lines for whichever play I was in (I acted in high school). Another example...I rarely went to PE. Okay, you try being a senior with 8th period PE...a class that means nothing on your transcripts after the regular school day was over. The teacher (a football coach) who taught the class basically pulled me aside and said something to the effect of he knew that I did very well in school, knew I didn't care what I got in PE, and could I just show up often enough for class so that he could pass me? Righty-O Coach! 

The truth is, often we appear different than how we seem. :) Though I may have once been loud and boisterous, and maybe now can laugh and joke with students of all ages, I have at times been quite the opposite! 

I tried to stalk myself and find an old high school photo or newspaper article from one of the plays I was in...but alas, I guess 13+ years is too long! If I find any, I will make sure to post for a good laugh :)