When Giving Up is the Wrong Choice

This morning I had an early lunch with my former best friend. Those who know me really well and read my blog know that my best pal of 4+ years and I had a huge blow-out (which was not like us at all) way back in October, and that she moved five hours away at Christmas-time. We hadn't spoken in months. The day I interviewed for admission to the counseling program I realized I only had one enemy that I could think of, one person that I had truly wronged (and had felt wronged me), and it had been my best friend. That same day I couldn't get this person off my mind, so I finally gave in and emailed her. I had thought of her often, prayed for her more, and was just beginning to think that it was ridiculous that we let that happen. Ours was not a petty fight. Some really hurtful things were said on both sides, the kind of things you have a hard time forgetting...I mean, this was the same person I shared kid stories with, laughed with, prayed with, cried with, and yes, we had grown apart, but that was mostly my fault. I started thinking that most of what I had said had been with me being of the defensive, and me being angry, and that just possibly that was a lot of what she said too. So anyhow, I emailed-a heartfelt, I miss you, I know you are gone, but we really messed this up kind of email.

And I heard back. Right away. She felt the same way. We have emailed and chatted a few times, and no, it isn't quite the same, but it is good and it is close enough, and better than not at all. Today we had lunch. It was wonderful, and felt like home. I learned an important lesson, some things are too good to just throw away. It's like a favorite pair of jeans. You wear the heck out of them, because they feel good. They get loose and frayed edges, and you fix them, they get missing buttons or holes, and you mend them...they are just too good to give up. I feel blessed to have learned this lesson.