Walking on Sunshine

I am walking on sunshine! The grey, cloud-filled sky is just gorgeous, and my most annoying of students cannot get me down. I am sure you may have already seen on Face Book, but yesterday afternoon I got the news I had been waiting for the past few weeks, and really, if we are perfectly honest, the news I had wanted to hear the last few years. My prayers have been answered with a resounding YES.

 I feel blessed beyond measure. I interviewed for the top nursing program in the state of Oregon (and 3^rd in the Nation!!!!!) a week and a half ago. I have been on pins and needles waiting to hear. I thought that I would not get in, prepared myself to not get in, and tried to make peace with not getting in.

BUT I got in! Like I said I tried to prepare myself for not getting in to any programs, but let’s be real here: I wanted this bad. OHSU was my first choice and I can hardly believe I got in on my 1^st try!  I am so excited to start this journey. I even feel like that saying, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life,” perfectly pertains. It is no longer just a dream. There is a plan. I am on my way to becoming a nurse!

I am going to get spiritual here. No, I don’t go to church often enough, but I do believe, and I do talk to God. Often. Over the past few years, since I quit teaching (the first time I guess since I currently teach!), I feel that I have grown in my assuredness that there is a plan even if it is not mine. I tried, and then backed out, was afraid, then decided to forge ahead. It has been a more than bumpy path. I have been told by a complete stranger that my blog and journey is inspiring, but I don’t really think so. It is just honest. I almost quit again recently. My current job can have its good days, and I like being a paid member of society again. I thought I could make peace with that. But then I worried about those few that do look up to me, and thought of my sons. How would I explain letting a dream go due to convenience? Are you kidding me?  This mom is not a quitter. I am made of more than that. So I did make peace. I asked God again and again to close this door if it wasn’t meant to be, but then my prayers changed a bit. Instead they became, “I think I can do this God. I think I can be great at this. I will be great wherever you put me, and work hard at any job no matter the time I am there…but if you close this door, give me the strength to knock again.”I hope He doesn’t see that as blasphemy. I hope He thinks that is okay. But I know it was a change in me, a change in my heart. I CAN do this, and I can do well, but only with the strength God gives me, and only with a heart that is open to things I have yet to only imagine.

When I am asked where I want to go with nursing, I have a few answers ready. I have thought about going on to be a Nurse Practitioner.  I have thought about my own experience with a great nurse when my Matthew was born premature, an experience that forever changed me, and have thought about working in a NICU or in Labor and Delivery. I have thought of combining my love for teaching with my love of healthcare and becoming a Public Health Nurse. But the truest answer? I don’t know, but I am sure, and I am faithful that the path will find me.

I hope that you will celebrate this part of the journey along with me! I am thankful for those of you that read my blog, and I apologize for the last few months not having posted much. I just wasn’t sure what else to say. I hope to keep this blog going of course, to document my journey through nursing school, and I hope that you will stay with me. I am sure I will need an outlet during what promises to be some challenging, yet fulfilling years of my life.

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Sarah