Confessions of a Former School-Teacher Part 3

Rule #2: Spread Love, Not Hate
Another memory that I reflect on often is that of a conversation with an adolescent boy. This boy had many friends, but he chose to come talk to me about a very tough issue. "Sometimes I have feelings about other boys," he told me. I assured him that teenage years are confusing, full of hormones and emotions, and that what he was feeling was normal for his age-though he probably wouldn't find it talked about in the hallway.  So, if you're thinking, well, that was an easy fix-keep reading. It's never that simple. "Do you think Jesus cares who I like?" Standing there confounded by my lack of infinite wisdom, he went on, "I mean, I believe in Him, and I think the main point He was making was to love others, don't you? Am I a bad person if I wind up gay?" Well, hmmm...I guess I have to answer now, I thought. A million thoughts racing through my brain at that point, like how the school wouldn't like his views possibly, how maybe I should offer to pray with him, conversations with my best friend (a pastor's wife) on how the church often mistreats gays-it was all muddling around. Then I answered from my heart, instead of worrying about how I should field his question. "Yes, I agree. I think loving others and treating them well is the main point." I gave him a hug, told him I was there to talk, and reassured him that even though he may be having those feelings, it didn't necessarily mean he was gay, and that if it did, he was loved just the same.  Because, that is what it all boils down to, isn't it? Knowing that you are accepted and loved no matter what you do, because God loves us. Maybe I am oversimplifying the message, but then again, maybe it is just right.

Rule #3: Not Everybody is Created Equal
I know, I know, that is SO not politically correct of me to say, but let me explain. Some people we get along with like we have known them forever. They get us, we get them, and we enjoy talking to them. Other people we may feel neutral about. They're okay, I can get along with them. Then there's the other people. You may think that you are someone who gets along with everyone until you meet that one person who (for whatever reason) drives you temporarily insane. In fact, the two seem to coincide.  Insanity is only present when the person also is present. Now, you may be laughing (I am too, thinking of people who have caused this condition in me), but this is normal. I don't care who you are. Some people you like a lot better than others, whether you are a teacher, student, or fill-in blank here. You (certainly not me :)), may even be the cause of this phenomenon in others. So, how do we deal with this "liking problem" so to speak?

Well, I have a story (I always do!) about my first year teaching. I was going along just fine, faking it until I was making it, and them WHAM. Bus? You ask...nope. Student. I was told I was getting a new boy on Halloween, and that this child from quite possibly the opposite of Heaven, had been expelled from multiple schools and lo-and-behold he was going to be mine. I really can't make this stuff up. I joked about the fact that he was starting on Halloween. Really. It was a pretty good cosmic coincidence. On Halloween the new boy shows up and he hands me a paper. It is folded up pretty good and says "for my new teacher" on the outside. I think to myself, "Sarah, how sweet. What are you possibly worried about?" Then I open it.

..........................................................................................................................................................

Were you wondering if I'd go on? Well inside for his new teacher was a happy picture of a teddy bear. Being stabbed. With multiple swords. And blood. Again, I don't make this stuff up. There are more tales to be told at some point, but let's just say I had a definite liking problem in the weeks that followed, in the fact that I didn't like this child... at all. There is a lesson here. The only time I advise faking it is in situations like this. I smiled, I taught, I laughed, and I learned (albeit very slowly) to like this kid little by little. So, though not everyone is created to be liked specifically by you, it is never an excuse to treat them any differently. Fake it until it becomes real, or until you've moved to another chapter in your life. You never know if you might be helping them.