From Here to Eternity-Finding Love

It seems we really all want the same thing in life-to find that one person that makes our days bearable and to spend the rest of our lives with them. That's why I will be devoting many of my posts to relationships in the near future. This doesn't mean that I won't run any of my regular series as well, and whatever other random ramblings I have, but it seems many of you like reading about the relationship "stuff" the most. Many of my readers are currently participating in a survey about relationships. I am enjoying reading the responses!

We have all heard the advice, "Don't look for love, and it will find you." This is true, to a big extent. When my marriage with Greg ended, I was very bitter. If it hadn't been for us having two beautiful sons, I would have been even more game to falling back on the "well that's 12 years of my life gone" mantra.  I can tell you now that all bitterness has dissipated. I can look at the 12 years and see them for what they were-some great times (that I can actually smile fondly about), and some awful. When we split up, there happened to be some deal on Match.com running at the time. We had agreed to start dating right away, and for those of you who are sticklers on the particulars, our divorce (because mutually consensual and co-filed), was final in 6 days.  I figured I'd try it out. Why not? I also admittedly thought to myself, "what are my other options? I live in Lebanon." 

Match.com was one joke turned blessing. Not only did I get a few really nice dates out of the deal, and a lot of laughs and some great conversations with guys that I never ended up dating, but within less than a week of being on there, I began to email with Barrett. I liked him right away, though he reminds me that I ignored one of his messages for a full week. Cringe. Yeah-I was going on date #1 and #2 with a guy who worked at Oregon State University at the time...notice, there was no date #3. :) Barrett and I emailed, texted and spoke on the phone for about 2 weeks before our first date. We already felt like we knew each other fairly well before we even met, and the date was comfortable and fun. We went on dates #1-4 in four consecutive nights. I would like to say it was history from there, and it pretty much was-but we had some patchy things to work out too. I was coming out of a marriage, and he had been hurt by some really dumb (in my opinion) women in the past. After beginning to date in late December, we were engaged mid June the following year and married in August (coming up on one year anniversary next week!).

I wasn't looking for love when I signed up for Match.com, and neither was he. But I was open to it. Love found us both, but we needed to have open hearts and minds, or it would have passed us by. So, while you don't need to be actively looking for love, don't hide from it either.