Secrets to a Happy Husband, Part 1

In order to do this post, I basically compiled my past experiences (some not so great things I've been guilty of), my extensive (mostly for fun) reading on this topic, and the thoughts of my own dear husband. Men- tell me if I'm onto something. Women- fair warning, you may need to work on a few things, but he's worth it, isn't he? :)

Husbands are simpler than wives in some ways, and that is not an insult, it's actually a compliment. Husbands tend to he happier when we are happy as well. This leads me to secret #1.

1. BE HAPPY. Ladies, we are a drag to be around when we are constantly unhappy with some area of our lives. He wants you happy- in fact, he needs it for his own happiness. The first and foremost thing you can do for your guy is to find things that make you happy, and do them. Really, he won't mind.

2. NAG LESS. Yes, we have probably all been guilty of the nagging virus. You can't believe he didn't notice that the floors desperately needed swept! And you tried asking nicely. Yesterday! Ask again, sweetly, but do not nag. This only creates resentment ( "all that time she wasted nagging me, she could've swept the floor herself! Twice."). I find what works well in my house is a tradeoff. It goes something like this, "Honey, I'll vacuum if you sweep, then we can relax together." Try it.

3. HE CAN'T READ YOUR MIND. I don't care how emotionally attuned to one another you and your guy are-sometimes he is going to miss your telepathic messages. I am working on this one myself! When you find yourself saying, "but you should've known..." just stop there. He didn't, but he would have if you'd told him. The response you wanted you may have actually gotten if you had used your words.:)

4. DON'T HUSBAND BASH. I know that it's easy around your friends to trade stories about the things you can't believe your husband did, but fight the urge. He's your man for a reason, which usually includes the fact that (at least at some point) you were head-over-heels in love with him. Act like it. He trusts you to enhance his character, not to destroy it.

5. SHOW INTEREST IN HIS HOBBIES. They may not be the things you like to do, but they matter to him and he matters to you. Follow the connection? Most men would love if you asked about their hobbies and if you were willing to tag along and try them sometimes. Side Note on this: ditch the "I'm just not comfortable"... (insert action here) act. Big deal. You only live once! Your man wants you to fire a rifle? Try it. Snow ski when you're terrified? Try it once and see what happens. He will appreciate it.

6. LOOK YOUR BEST. Oh- I can almost hear the feathers ruffling. I know that I qualify as a fairly high maintenance girl, but I also know that my husband appreciates the fact that I care how I look. Ladies, I know yoga pants are comfy, but they're for exercising. Once, maybe twice a week to keep them on all day and you are at your max! Yes, he loves you. Yes, he wants you. Yes, it's ok to be you.... But- remember when you first met and you dressed up for him? It made him feel good ( it likely made you feel good too!). Men hate it when their wives quit trying. If you get more dressed up for a girl's night then you do regularly for your guy, ponder that one a bit. My rule: at least one out of three. If I'm in comfy clothes and have my hair up, I at least have makeup on. If I'm leaving my hair wet, I have on cute clothes and makeup (2/3), you get the drift! 1 out of 3 is not a hard mark! In most things it'd be a failing grade-so, look nice for him.

7. SURPRISE HIM. Yes, this overlaps my Tips for a Happy Wife! My husband told me he'd happily allow room in our budget for me to plan something nice and share none of the details with him until go time (in fact I just started planning a small excursion). He wants to be surprised too! And if you can throw in something small that hits on one of his interests, bonus points!

8. TRUST HIM. We demolish our husband's self confidence when we ask him to take care of something then tell him how he did it wrong. I know he doesn't give bedtime baths the way you do, but he shouldn't. He doesn't clean the kitchen perfectly or fold the towels just right. Relax. You wanted help right? It's free, it's easy and it's usually willing. So compliment him even when things aren't done your way, and thank him. This shows you trust his abilities.

9. RESPOND TO HIM. Do not let his advances (friendly, romantic, sexual) fall on deaf ears. Your lukewarm response isn't just rude, it's demeaning and it hurts him. Whether he is nuzzling your neck while you are cooking dinner or trying to share a movie with you while you're paying bills, take the time to give him an acceptable response. If we women were treated like this even half the time we seem to think it's ok to do to our men, we would be devastated. This could be an entire rant right here! Maybe someday, for now, let me remind you that HE, the actual animate person next to you, is more important than anything else you are doing.

10. TOUCH. Hold his hand, kiss him often, give back rubs, whatever. This is a primary means of sharing affection for him. He needs to know you care. While you may say it often, do you show it? I know, I probably fall into being half of one of those sickening couples you see, always touching and kissing. Then again, I can think of way worse things to be.