Survey Says: How do Get More Intimacy in Your Relationship

For this post, I first looked at a few statistics on the averages in America for how often married couples make love (if you are not married...quick! Avert your eyes! :)) Disclaimer here, I did not ask this particular question in my own survey (maybe for a later date!), but it relates.  I read everything from an average being 1-2 times per week, to some poor, poor married men on a particular Men's Health forum that thought once every six months was normal (umm....wow.). According to another source, 1 in 5 marriages are considered to be "sexless" marriages, which is 10 times or fewer per year. One therapist had some great advice, saying that "If both the man and the woman are happy with their agreement, whatever it may be, then any arrangement, even a "sex-lite marriage" is acceptable....problem being, this is often not the case." I could write entire scores of posts on this topic alone (and would LOVE to start an adult only blog about intimacy issues in relationships...would you read it?), but today's topic is what things can a spouse or significant other do to make you want to be more intimate. I said that I would respond to each question with my own personal answers, so I'll just say that it isn't a huge issue for us, but that I agree with #5 and 14 the most myself. 

Question 3: You would be more inclined to be intimate if your partner would just do this:

• "If he was kind to me all day long."
• "Intimacy has never been an issue for us!" (That's awesome, because it is for many.)
• "Take more time."
• "Take his time."
• "More kissing and cuddling, slow things down."
• "If she initiated for once."
• "All she has to do is say the word."
• "Timing. Find a time we aren't both tired. Sometimes the end of the day is not the best."
• "Ask about my day and really listen. Flowers. Maybe some texts might help."
• "Make sure my stress is low."
• "Do something to help the mood. Candles and massage?"
• "Get up with the baby and let me sleep."
• "Umm...more foreplay!"
• "He needs to initiate more. I'm not afraid to-he shouldn't be either."
• "Communicate more with me throughout each day."
• "This question presumes I don't want to be intimate-I normally do.If I am not in the mood, it has nothing to do with my husband."

I hope this post helps to satisfy your curiosity, and maybe can be a springboard for a discussion with your spouse. Maybe you can agree on the areas you can work on, and be thankful for those that you do well.