Snippets from my Saga: Part 5

We stayed together for the typical reasons. The children needed us both, and neither of us could imagine a home that was bereft of their mom or dad. We clung to all the history that we shared together. When I would think of starting over, it exhausted me! Another person would have to learn how I liked my eggs, took my coffee, who the slightly crazy family members were, and fear of all fears, love my children like his own. When I would think those thoughts, I would give my head a violent shake, as if to clear the absurdity from my mind. For him, I know that he too worried about similar things. I knew, and put up with his crazy schedule. I “gave in” any time he wanted romance, unlike some wives out there! I took care of our sons, and I was (sometimes) fun to be around. I knew and loved his family, and (to those who have been there as well this will make the most sense…) I had been there with him through the years. The making of a life happens in each and every moment. We think it is only the big moments, but we could not be more mistaken. The making of a life does happen with each decision, but also with each touch and smile, with each move, with each minor illness and movie shared. Whether we had meant to or not, we had made a life together, and it was the only one that either of us knew.

 Rewind back 10 ½ years earlier to a beautiful July day in Central Valley California. I was dressed in billowing tulle that floated into a long train behind me. A fitted bodice of sequins and pearls adorned the top of the dress, and delicate white spaghetti straps clung to my tan shoulders. My hair, then a golden blonde, was down in spiral curls to below my shoulders, and pulled gently off my face with a headband and attached delicate veil. On my feet were ballet flats, as I wanted to be comfortable on my big night. The wedding was set for four o’clock that warm, but not too unbearably hot, afternoon. It was at a private golf course and country club. The walk down the aisle was to actually be a walk down the green to an altar of roses. He wore all white as well, with brown socks, what started as a joke looking at old wedding photos of his parents and his dad’s mismatched socks showing, and then became a purposeful tradition. His parents, married at the exact same spot years earlier, loved the idea. In hindsight, they too, are now divorced. Perhaps that particular country club is bad luck?  Ah, but I digress.

The wedding was a dream. A large wedding party with six bridesmaids and six groomsmen and two flower girls and a ring-bearer-I know it was a beautiful sight; I have the pictures.  The girls were decked out in floaty ice-blue dresses, and the groomsmen wore vests under their tuxedos to match. The flower girls wore navy blue. Ice blue, navy and white, gave the appearance of cool on a warm summer day. There was dancing and food galore, and looking back upon it, it truly was a wonderful day.