These are my strengths.
I am selfish though. I think of what I want and need, and what is best for my family. I crave stability and comfort. I am impatient and overindulgent. Sometimes I want to escape. I want to travel far away, and take a time out from life. I am stubborn and independent. I let few people truly in. I am perfectionistic, and nagging, high-strung and sometimes quick to anger.
These are my weaknesses.
My life (all lives) is a journey. In this season I am in a position to help teens that have fallen behind, been kicked out of regular school, or cannot handle the atmosphere of a "regular" classroom. Honestly, I kind of dig it. And I am good at it. I am not trying to be boastful, but I feel the measure of being good at something like this comes down to making connections and caring about these kids, and I do. This job is temporary, by it's very nature. It may not even exist next year (though I think it will), and it is temporary in my head. Not stable. Not to be counted on. Maybe not yet. I am lucky to have it and learn from it, regardless.
Today I blog to get out my feelings. I began this blog with a journey in mind, and the path has been longer and bendier than I planned. In exactly 1 month I will find out if I am chosen to interview for either nursing school I applied to. Though that is not the final decision by far, it gives me some idea. I will know for sure (if I interview) if I am accepted anywhere by April (for one) and June (for the other). I still want this. I still think if I get in, I have to pursue this. There is a big part of me that thinks that with all the prayer I have done about it, that if I get in it is a sign to move into health care, and if I don't it is a sign to stay in education. I am not afraid of the schooling itself. But I am afraid of the potentially crazy hours and the effect that could have on my family. They depend on me to be here when they are, and right now, even working, I can be 99% of the time. But families grow and adjust. My end goal would potentially give me normal hours again after a few years (or maybe, just maybe right away), because some of the nursing routes I have grown most interested in are perhaps nontraditional. School nursing, public health nursing, and/or my final goals of being a Nurse Practitioner in Women's Health, and eventually a nursing instructor all yield more traditional business hours. Teens are my favorite group to work with, and I think that even in nursing I would do instruction in sexual education, and provide time at the local pregnancy clinic (even as a volunteer for both). And yes, to those still reading my long post, I have given some consideration into becoming a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner, and combining my love for psychology with nursing. And they are in HIGH need, so I have read. :)
If I remain in education, I will not stay stagnant. I will either earn another license, this time in special education, and/or a second master's degree and license in school counseling. The special education license would ensure that I could keep working with populations similar to what I am working with now. I would get mild/moderate disabilities at the secondary level, which is high school kids with emotional disturbance classification, anxiety disorders, mild learning disorders, and autism. School counseling has always interested me, and I would, of course, want to work at the high school level.
There are pros and cons to everything, and I have made numerous charts! :) When it comes down to it, I left a dream teaching job (in many respects) because I was not feeling passionate about it. I felt/feel called into health care, and have an overwhelming desire for that kind of knowledge. I love learning about the human body, what can go wrong with it, and how to take care of it. But this job I have now has reminded me of my passion for helping teens too. Too many passions? Sometimes I think, yes.
What would you do, if you were me? Frankly I would love the advice, conversation, anything. If you have time, comment or private message me your thoughts, and please keep me and my next few months in your prayers.
My life's motto: One starfish-One person at a time.
No comments:
Post a Comment