These kids come in hungry and tired. They have stayed up half the night playing video games sometimes. Sometimes they are ill or in pain, but the family cannot afford to get them the medicine or care they need, so they just sleep it off as best they can and trudge back in to me. It really makes you wonder where the parents are. Are they too tired, too run-down, and too defeated by life to care? Perhaps they too are sleeping it off. If this is the case, it seems the lifestyle of poverty perpetuates itself one generation after the other. I know that often this is the case. I have read explanations of this. It just seems different to see it in person, I guess.
Students miss school, even here, a lot. It is not something that is on their radar as being important. How do I even begin to make the connection that school is the first step to getting them out of here? It is the first step to having a better life. I worry that I alone, may not be enough. I want to counsel each student on career choices, college, and using their strengths. I want to fix their lives, even if it is in small measures. Before I can do any of that though, I have to make them believe that they actually have some strength, some talents. It is baby steps against a ticking clock because every day, every hour counts, yet if you push too hard you risk completely losing them. It is the paradox of helping kids like this. Push a little, get some work done. Sit back a little, let them talk to you. Push a little more, but not too much to get them to open up a bit, because you can’t truly help them until you know them-each kid is that different. What works for one student may not work at all for another…heck, what works one day for what student may not work again tomorrow.
The school system provides free breakfasts and lunches, and the kids usually do eat something while here. The gesture in itself is great, and I am glad that there is something for these kids, but I know the few choices that are brought in must get a bit old after awhile too (though better than not eating at all!). Perhaps once a week I can bring in some other options-fresh fruit, juice and bagels maybe? Maybe that could be a small, but somehow significant, high point in the week. My psychology background says yes, you feed them and make them feel safe first. All else comes later. You cannot build without a foundation.
Speaking of that psychology background-I guess I never knew if I would need it or not. Sure, it comes in handy, but I majored in it because it interested me, not necessarily because of what I could do with it. Now I can say after almost 3 weeks here that it is indeed very useful. I pulled two of my “regulars” aside the other day for 10 minutes at a time and gave them a very basic, and free, personality test for fun. Not only were they open to it, but they LOVED it. Here was something on paper telling them their strengths and areas to improve on, possible career choices, and explanations for behaviors. It turned on a light for them. One boy told me, “This explains me very well; I am taking this home to show people!” It was a simple thing, more for me than them at the time (I was curious), but the reactions were undeniably positive. Here was something that gets them. I am reminded that to be understood, to be got is a very important aspect of being a teen.
So far this is a job filled with extreme highs and lows in every regard. Attitude, attendance, and even how much I am needed fluctuate from hour to hour. My days are full of busyness and boredom, accomplishment and defeat. It is hard to put into words. How do I describe to you the happiness I feel when a student finally “gets” something or the companionship that is growing in the room-my students now hugging me as they leave? There is also the frustration of keeping kids on task, the not knowing what each moment will hold, the stretches of afternoon when I am simply monitoring but not needed to teach anything (It has been the pattern that my morning students need much more help than my afternoon students). I realized I was excited yesterday to teach a math concept that my student had not had before, and one that I actually enjoy. I am a dumping ground of sorts. I regularly hear phrases like “We are trying this student with you because we aren’t sure what else to try…”, or “Let’s see how this goes. This student has a bad track record with traditional school.” I even have been given an elementary school student that they are unsure what to do with, even though all my other students are grades 8-12.
I am not sure anyone could stay here long term, and I mean year after year, but I could maybe see stating awhile. These are my thoughts for now.
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Sarah B
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