The Truth About Online Dating

Internet dating is becoming the norm in our high-paced, erratic, yet highly impersonal society. You may have wondered: does it work? Am I a loser because I can't meet someone in "real" life? How do I get a good date from a service?

First of all, when I got divorced, I signed up for Match.com. I got a few pretty good dates and my husband, Barrett out of my 3-month commitment. I'd say it was worth it for me. Granted, it doesn't always happen that fast or that seamlessly. No, you are not a loser if you use a dating service. It is difficult to meet people, and sites like Match and eHarmony take some of the guess work out of the mix for you. You set your standards, and then you look at who has been matched to you. So, even if you have decided to take the plunge, how do you make it work? Here's what I learned:

• -Don't limit yourself. I was going to sign up for 2 services for good measure-but I met my guy after less than a week. I still recommend this. You don't want to miss a great person because they are using one site and you are on another. 
• -Going with the first tip, don't limit your standards too much. If you are willing to go with a 6 year age difference, why not 7? What if your perfect somebody has a few extra pounds, but you only choose the "athletic" body type? Now, a quick caution on this-if you have really strong religious beliefs, you probably want to choose the types that do not list atheist in this category. Got a few emails from some who claimed that. They got nice, "no thank you" responses from me. 
• -Pick a handful of great pictures. 3-5 is what many people recommend. One up-close picture and two more action/candid or outdoor shots are a good idea. This is like a resume, for a lifetime job if you get lucky, so there is nothing wrong with spending a bit to have some professional photos done. Perhaps you should ask a really objective friend to pick their favorites to help. 
• -Be honest. My profile was very direct and honest. I told about myself, but I don't feel like I overtold. Make it medium length, and make sure there are no spelling errors. Humor is good, and leaving something to talk about on dates is important too. 
• -Once you are on a site or two, and have some great profiles up, don't just sit there! Be active. I was new to this, and had no idea that when I browsed profiles on Match and clicked "favorite" that the other person saw this. I thought I was just saving them for me to go back to. This is how Barrett and I connected. I saw a cute photo, and clicked "favorite," and Barrett got a notification, then sent me an email. I also sent plenty of emails myself. I got some good responses and some bad, and didn't get any response on some. You have to expect this-so build up some thick-skin. Do not just "wink". That puts the ball back in the other person's court, and most often they would appreciate that you be more forward. 

In my opinion, online dating is a good way to see what's out there. I don't know a ton of people, but I can name 4 couples that I do know that met online-as well as myself and my husband. I went in with the attitude "what's the worst that can happen?" I ended up with the best. Funny how life works sometimes.