Survey Says: Keeping Your Relationship Strong

Today's post is about things couples do to keep their relationships fresh, fun and resilient through tough times. Every couple develops time-honored habits after awhile together, you know-the things that make everyday your own unique orchestration. A few habits that we enjoy are: breakfast together each morning (today we sat out on the front deck, and it was beautiful), texting throughout the day while he is at work and I am at school, dinner together when Barrett gets home, and then around eight o'clock each night we stop whatever other activities we were doing (me: studying, reading, cleaning or him: yard-work, reading or playing in his gun room!). There is some variety, sometimes we walk down at the park by the river, sometimes we walk our yellow lab up the hill behind our house, and when the boys are here we may play outside with them, read to them or watch a cartoon or movie as a family. The point is that we are rarely apart. I mean this in a healthy way too, it isn't that we can't be apart to get things done, but it is that we enjoy lots of time together. And each night we stop at 8 (sometimes sooner if it has been a rough day), and we retire to our bedroom for TV, reading to one another or reading separately, talking, planning for things (like getting a puppy!), and of course any "couple" time before turning in around ten. I know we each have different schedules, and sometimes they change due to necessity, like a job change, but find what works for YOU, and capitalize on it. 

Question #4: What is something you do together that keeps your relationship strong?

• "We spend time talking together."
• "We let each other have a boy's night or a girl's night out."
• "We read devotions together and pray daily."
• "We ride quads together, go on country drives and watch football games together."
• "We travel, and go on road-trips."
• "We talk. About everything."
• "We pray."
• "We watch TV together when kids are in bed."
• "Laugh together. If we can laugh, even when life throws us curve balls, then I feel nothing can pull us apart."  (Well said!!)
• "We spend time together without our kid."
• "We go for walks together and tell one another what we have appreciated about each other for the day. This helps immensely." (Great idea!)
• "Hold hands, even when we're in the car."
• "We talk, whether it is good, bad or ugly."
• "Just about everything we do."
• "Our belief in God."
• "We are best friends, and do most things together."
• "Date nights without the kids."
• "We watch favorite movies and TV shows together. It really feels like a shared experience."
• "We make a point to make US the center of our lives."

So, you can see that many couples do different things to keep their relationships strong. Getting out without the kids (if you have them) is very important to the health of a relationship, and so is time carved out (even at home) for just the two of you. There have been times we have put the boys together to watch a movie at night and gone down to our room, and shut the door. We tell them that we need some Mommy and Barrett time for a bit, and it works fine. Then we can read, cuddle and watch TV. Studies have shown over and over again, that your children find it reassuring when they know you want to spend time with one another. It is also easy to look at this list and be envious of what other couples have that you may not. As human beings, we are prone to see what we are missing. I, for example, would say that we have a wonderful relationship, but I miss going to church and praying (which I do on my own), and I would love for us to share that experience together. I also love what already is, and while it is important to keep improving, it is just as important to value what you already have.