After Happily Ever After

This post has been swirling around my mind the last few days. Most women (though I'm sure not all) love romance. We plow through romance novels, sigh at happy romantic endings in movies, and secretly long for that kind of romance in our lives. If you look up the term romance, you will find that it is both a noun, "a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love" and a verb "to court or woo."  Almost every fairy tale ends with romance in the form of and they lived happily ever after.  Surely you have noticed that the story always ends there, right? No one tells you what happens after the couple rides off into the sunset. I mean, they have to stop somewhere. The horse must tire out. And at some point that fairy-tale couple has to fall into what I imagine every married couple on earth falls into at some degree: the after the happily ever after. Imagine with me if you will Prince Charming after the newlywed bliss wears off. Maybe he is living grandly in a castle, but does he fall into the married man (and woman) trap of monotony, daily chores, and (gasp!) passing gas in front of the love of his life?? Surely not....right? Perhaps this is why we are left in stories to imagine our own happily ever after, one that is never sullied by, do I dare say, reality.

Now, I am both an avid reader and movie watcher. And...a romantic in the worst way. Nothing makes my heart stop like those books where the gorgeous male hero utters his undying love (over and over again mind you) for the girl that he would move Heaven and Earth for. It must also be said that my favorite stories always contain a magical realm of some sort. Yes, think Twilight, though NO, it is not my favorite as there are FAR better books written by much lesser known authors. I love books that involve faeries, immortals, and anything else supernatural. For someone with my personality, I will admit that I often look at life and wonder why this is all there is?  I don't mean any sacrilege here, I really don't. I am amazed at many things that exist in Creation...however, my admission borders in the thoughts that manifest themselves often in my imagination. Why aren't there any faeries hiding in the wooded area behind my house? No centaurs, vampires,  mermaids, and other wonderful creatures that grace story after countless story. I mean, they should exist, I think.  I am sure that I sound immature, but as an aside here, have you ever noticed how much MORE fun being a child was than being an adult? Just sayin'. 

But back to romance. Does it last? Or is it only meant for fiction? Perhaps part of this can be based on how we each, individually, classify romance. What is romantic to me, may not be to you and vice versa. For example, a man proposing to his love on the big screen at some huge sporting event? Not my thing at all...but perhaps yours. I wish desperately that what I equated with romance was different. Perhaps my expectations are just too high. This is in no means my way of saying that my own husband lacks in the romance department, though I will say that just about every man (in real life that is) could use some gentle prodding (or for some, some glaringly obvious reminders) of what their woman wants. Nothing says romance to me than over-the-top gestures. A surprise trip he has already packed me for. A black, velvet box with plane tickets to a faraway place, a love letter given to me under the stars. Barrett, hope you're taking notes! I realize that unfortunately to many, especially to people like me, romance and money kind of have to go hand in hand. Who doesn't want a night filled with a fancy gown, fancy food, breathtaking view, and her man's unwavering attention? If you don't, more power to ya. I do. 

Maybe romance has to be found in the small things. I maybe cook breakfast once a week, because B takes care of it almost daily. He also makes my coffee just how I like it. He texts and/or emails me throughout the day about everything from his love for me to funny stories in the news I might like. He washes my hair for me. Barrett would not call himself romantic, and admittedly there have been many times that I had wished for romance that were anything but..., but he does have the market on everyday kind of love. One time, we were camping and had gone riding in the ATV off some trail, and we had sat down in the woods. No-one but us. Barrett told me what he imagined in the future, wanting to retire in Central Oregon someday. It was very romantic, had I not been entirely too sure of myself that this was where and when he was going to propose, every nerve in me on edge as he spoke. But that was not what happened. It would be months later after me pretty much asking him where in the world we were headed, that I would have my wish of being engaged...completely sans proposal at all. It's ok....my first husband asked me over the phone. I have a knack for being a romantic who picks men that aren't. 

If you, like me, could use a hard-core does of romance that seems to exist only in fairy tales, perhaps you can share some of my ideas/links below with your other half. Not ALL are expensive; some cost nothing. Romance can exist. I really want it to, as I am sure some of you do too. I made a mental list of some of the most romantic things that have ever happened to me, and included the ideas below. Feel free to re-create, as well as some sites with GREAT ideas (just leave open on your laptop for your husband).  I will not divulge which man planned the romantic things, so your mind can wander all on its own to all the men I ever dated (or married! lol).

And note to the guys, YES, it is up to us to be romantic too. I am sorry it seems to all fall on you, but we NEED this, so please, for the sake of your woman, just man-up and go all out for her. :)

• I came home from work to "our" song playing and being serenaded as we danced in the kitchen.
• A surprise of swimsuits and beachwear for a vacation that we were going to take.
• A trail of goodies on the stairs to flowers and dinner.
• A moonlit walk in the park.
• Night swimming.
• An impromptu photo shoot at railroad tracks out in the country, where I was the subject and he the photographer.
• A picnic on the roof of a school library under the stars.
• A date of wine and fancy cheeses. 
• A day on the lake all alone.
• A night spent under the stars, watching meteors.
• A casual trip to the fish hatchery in the rain.
• Love letters. Lots of them.
• A surprise of a "sick" day spent together.
• A surprise anniversary trip.

Check out Romantic Ideas to Make Your Lover Melt. I LOVE #12, #15, and #17. 

And I LOVE these ideas!!! 40+ Creative Romantic Ideas. Seriously...bookmark it. Can we say YES to some of the ideas on page 2, like "Take your lover on a surprise two-week vacation to Paris." Yes, please, with cherries and a happy wife on top. :)

Here's to Happily Ever After lasting.