Lessons Learned in Nursing School (So Far...)

It was a very tough decision for me to leave teaching, because it was a career that I didn't hate and that I really enjoyed a lot of days. They say that the best time to leave a job is not when you are unhappy with it, but when you are mostly satisfied. "Mostly" is the key word here. Now I realize no job/career/person will ever 100% satisfy 100% of the time, but go with me people. You see, it is a better indicator that you will only take something that is better than what you already have, instead of making a hasty "the grass is always greener" decision. I have tried to employ this sentiment over the course of my career. I really liked working front office at the dental office I worked at for six years. I left only when I had secured my first teaching position, and even then, I thought long and hard about it. The first school I taught at, I stayed for two years. I was (mostly) happy there, but I wanted to change age groups. I left third grade to take a position teaching high school students. This was the hardest job of all to leave, because I loved my students, but I felt a little nudge each day inside that I was not fulfilling my passion. After much (MUCH) deliberation, I gave my notice that I would not be returning the following school year and would instead go complete my prerequisites for nursing. The next two years were wonderful and terrible all at once. I was not sure I liked being unemployed, and I hated some of the "filler" type classes I had to take to complete prereqs. At the same time, I got to be mostly home with Isaiah before he began kindergarten. Finally, while I was waiting to hear about the next few years (if I had gotten into nursing school), I took a temporary teaching position in alternative education. Even this job, with nursing school looming on the horizon, was hard to leave behind. Most of you know my story, and the huge changes in my personal life that also allowed me to make career changes, but I bring all this up to say that there are many times I have doubted my decision. 

There are days that I have thought I was crazy to go back to school after spending years to get my teaching license and my graduate degree. There have been moments where I have thought, "I left teaching to learn this?" I tell you this because I have often had friends say that I am dedicated or that I seem so sure. I am not always sure. But I am getting more sure the further I get into the nursing program. I enjoy what I am learning (mostly), and I love taking care of patients. The patient I worked with the last two days got to know me a bit, and had told me today as he left that he wished me luck and happiness in my career and that I had made a very courageous decision. That made my week. I have not once thought of my career change as courageous. Scary? Yes. Insane? Maybe. Courageous? Nope. But I get his point. I am pursuing my passion, and in that I am also teaching my sons that we work hard for the things we want. Sometimes it is so stressful we cry. Some Friday nights bedtime cannot come soon enough. But the closer the goal gets, the more we push. Because it matters. Because it fills my heart. Because little by little I am on my way. 

So what has nursing school taught me so far? What advice would I give to anyone else?

• There are many types of nurses. This is a good thing. Some nurses are a bit stressed and frazzled, others go about the day laughing it off. It takes all kinds. I have seen many different personalities so far, and they all have been great nurses. 
• To piggy-back on that-we all have our strengths. Learning these strengths and honing them is important. For me so far, developing a good rapport with patients and patient education are both strengths.
• We all like different things. This is also a good thing. Not every nurse wants to work in the ICU or the ER. Some nurses love to start IVs, some love to teach joint replacement classes, and some love the excitement of a code blue. Find what you like, and match it with what you are good at.
• Advocate for your patient. If you have been with them all day and know that the pain meds aren't cutting it, be brave and call the doctor and get them what they need.
• There is no room for squeamishness. An IV starts bleeding, a patient coughs on you, you have to educate about (and possibly give) a rectal suppository. It is your business to know when your patient passes gas, urinates or has a bowel movement. You may need to tell them when they are okay to be sexually active again after surgery. Get over it. These are all imperative things to be able to talk about.
• Make friends with your fellow students. Who else can you text with before 6AM (not even kidding) to talk to about clinical prep packets? Who else can you commiserate with about an instructor or an upcoming exam?
• Take the material seriously. There is so much to learn, but what we are taught could literally save a life.
• Make time to laugh too. Not everything can be serious. I take 1-2 days/nights off each week to spend with my family and to not think about nursing school. Life goes on outside school as well. 
• Ask intelligent questions. Instructors do not want to answer the same thing over and over again, and you should know why hemoglobin and hematocrit rise or fall and what blood thinners do by the second term of the program. They will give you the "why the hell are you asking this?" look even if they don't say that out loud.
• Have family and friends that support you. Your people need to know that you won't always be free, and that yes, you study a lot. Also, have people willing to let you practice on them! 

What would you add?

Taking Chances in 2015

 As I sit here in a snowy wonderland, I  am reflective of my life and my past year. It has been a great one and I'm excited about 2015. 

I have not had much time to blog lately, and that is mostly a good thing. Due to my very restless nature, I am happiest when busiest. This annoys many people, but it is me. I had a fellow student/friend text the other day lamenting the fact that break was almost over. She asked if I was ready to go back. "Actually, yeah," was my reply. Vacations are so very nice, but I also have to say that I have found myself (though not always) in love with the day-to-day as well. That is when so much of life takes place. There are so many snuggles with kids, shared laughs with my husband, and good cups of coffee. There are soccer games to attend and concepts to study for. It is a good life.

I made a few resolutions this year. 

1. Laugh more, stress less.

2. Don't be afraid to look stupid in order to try/learn something new.

3. Balance nursing school with life making time for family, friends, and myself.

I think these are good ones, and the first two really have to do with a big change in me (even the third one a bit). I used to be so scared of what people would think of me. How did I look? Did I say the right thing? What if friends don't really like me? I have never even been dancing, even though I love to dance, because I'm not good at it. Even when I weighed 25 lbs less I was self conscious in a bikini. It's time to stop this nonsense. This is my life, and I'm going to have fun and be me. You know what I realized in Maui, as I sat there sucking in my stomach shying away from the pool where my kids played? I looked around me. There was a woman that could probably be considered chubby in the pool laughing with her kids. She didn't look ugly to me- she looked full of joy. I sprang from my seat to go down the water slide, much to the happiness of my family. It dawned on me that these people don't care how I look in a two piece-they're too worried about how THEY look or (if they're lucky, they're enjoying the moment)! Besides, why should I care what they think?!

My first day of clinical on the oncology unit, the very first opportunity for patient care, was for a dying woman. I followed my nurse in, and my heart stopped. The patient reminded me of my grandmother who died from cancer nine years ago. Every cell in me was ready to turn, run, and throw in the towel. Teaching here I come again and goodbye nursing! But I took a deep breath, and though there were tears in my eyes, I helped. I really feel I am better for it too. The compassion I had for the family was 100% genuine.

Today, I strapped on skis for the first time in over 20 years. I skied once as a kid, if you could even call it that since I never made it out of the lessons after managing to ski over my own hand (I am just that special). Barrett loves to ski (downhill) and I'm terrified of it. I told him I'd try cross country. I went into it knowing I would fall- I mean come on- you're strapping slippery things to your feet for the purpose of sliding in the snow. Combine that with the fact that I am a klutz, and falling is going to happen. Somehow embracing that fact made it better. I fell 4 times, but you know what? I had a blast, and am so glad I tried it!

I know this has been a rambling post, but my reason for the three scenarios above is this: take a chance. Know that you may falter and even fall, but it is so much better to live life fully than from the sidelines. It will make you a stronger, happier person I believe. 

 Happy New Year!

Annual Christmas UPDATE with Photos!

It has been almost a month since I have written! The time flies when you are: 
A-a mother of two young boys
B-a full-time nursing student 
C-Starting to stress about finals
D-Planning for Christmas Break
E-All of the Above

If you guessed E, you are correct...but is it the MOST correct answer? Sorry, just a little nursing school humor for you there. My frazzled brain giggled at that-hope yours did too. 

So, I actually am sending out Christmas cards, very nice ones I might add, but I only ordered enough for 60 of my closest family, friends, and favorite acquaintances. This is for everyone that I would love to share with, but as I am a poor college student, you get the electronic version. 

OUR YEAR IN REVIEW

Isaiah James: 
My sweet, baby boy is 6 this year and in 1st grade. Isaiah amazes me daily with an attitude that honestly used to bother me, but I have come to truly admire. He is not afraid to speak the truth or to go against the grain-both qualities that will serve him so well in later years (though we do have to teach him some tactfulness and politeness to go with). He has picked up reading with a speed and fluency that never ceases to amaze me, and can spell about half the words on his older brother's spelling list. He also loves math (doesn't get that from me). This past year Zay has played soccer for his third year, and is becoming a great player. He loves to do crafts and listen to music, and is the most extroverted one in our little family!

Matthew Lewis: 




My first-born boy is now 9!! I can hardly believe it and teared up at his 9th birthday thinking he is halfway to being an adult now. Matthew continues to play soccer (in his 5th year), and has been playing on the local AYSO team as well as a club team. He wants to try out other sports as well, and I am afraid we will have to have him decide at some point what to focus on since doing it all is not possible! :) Matt is in his second year of Cub Scouts, and has grown in maturity, responsibility and his awareness of community service. He is interested in what I am learning in school, and tells me now that he wants to be a doctor (though of course we all know that is destined to change many, many times over the next few years!). Much to my delight, Matthew has taken an interest in Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, and Lord of the Rings (the latter being way to difficult to read at this time, but he loves those movies nonetheless). 

Me: 

Well, you mostly know my story. I am almost done with the first term of 6 in my RN program and will likely take a 6-12 month break to begin working when this is all said and done Summer of 2016, and then go on to OHSU to get my BSN. I LOVE nursing school, and love my first clinical placement in Oncology, though I am interested in many things (Pediatrics, Labor and Delivery, ER, Community Health Nursing, and Hospice...), and hope that over the next 2 years I will fall in love with a particular area-though I know I will also be willing to go where the jobs are at-especially at first! Nursing school is a challenge, and I enjoy what I am learning about. I am also making some great friends along the way. I can now do vital signs, head-to-toe assessments, clinical prep packets, and am starting to know more than your average Joe about medications and their uses and interactions. 

Barrett:

Barrett amazes me. He would never brag on himself, so this is my chance to do it. This man supports me at every turn. He has taken over almost all of the household responsibilities to allow me to focus on school and spend time with the kids when I am home. He is doing well at the company he has been with for 3 1/2 years, and has even earned two work-from-home days! Barrett gets up every morning to cook the boys a real breakfast before school, and on nights I have later classes, he reads and does homework with the boys. I am so very blessed to have such a wonderful family man. He, and the boys too, also let me practice on them any chance I need to for school! Barrett does like to try to throw me off by acting as a crotchety old man-telling me I need to get used to it!!

Our Family: 



All in all, this has been an amazing year! We have camped, swam, visited two water-parks, gone to Washington and California, and Hawaii (B and I), and we have a trip to Maui planned in 11 days (!!!) as our Christmas gift for our family this year! Matt and Zay are soooo excited (as are the adults). We have relied on one another during illnesses and schedule changes, and have spent lots of time with my parents and B's grandparents. LIFE IS GOOD. 

We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!

Until Next time, 
Sarah

Setting the Record Straight: Why I DO Miss Teaching but Will Likely Never go Back

I read a great article last night posted by a friend Why Good Teachers Quit. It got me thinking about a lot of the reactions I get when I say I used to teach. My instructors seem to respect that, and even will engage me in questions about whether I will pursue teaching within the field of nursing down the road. The overall reaction I get from classmates and acquaintances though is one of understanding disdain. More often than not, a reaction such as, "Oh wow. I could never work with teenagers!" Or something along the lines of, "I have a friend (cousin, brother, ex spouse's nephew...) that teaches, and is very unhappy." I am not putting anyone down, people want to be nice and to understand. What I am pointing out is that no-one ever says, "Oh, you did? Do you miss it?" It is as if the entire field of education has gotten a bad rap. There are politics galore, un-involved parents, and attitudinal snotty-nosed kids.

And there are those things, but I personally didn't leave because of those factors. I left because I was bored with my subject matter (something I likely brought on myself by specializing a bit too much), longing to be a nurse, and wanting more time with my family. I LOVED teaching Biology, Health, and Anatomy & Physiology (absolute favorite!), and not so much love was to be had for Physical Science, Math or Life Science (that was purely because the subject matter was similar to Biology but very watered down). I got to be pretty creative in how I ran my classes, much more creative even than when I was teaching elementary school, but I couldn't just decide to do Art one day or to switch over and teach high school literature (something I'd have loved to try).

The reasons I left teaching never had anything to do with the students. I loved them!!! I still do. I keep in touch with lots of my former students. I adored my teens, and you know what? I miss them. I really, really do. Sometimes I get wistful and teary-eyed thinking of my favorite classroom memories. My last six months teaching I worked with the hardest of the hard teens. These teens had criminal records or drug problems or absent parents (or all of the above). It would have been an easy job to walk away from and never look back...but sometimes, I regret leaving.  They touched my heart, and they depended on me, which was the reason (above salary, employment or anything else) that I stayed with them until the very last day of school-completing my contract though I knew I was moving on.

Sadly, not an exaggeration!

The reasons I left teaching were not the parents. I had my share of lousy and overbearing ones, but most the parents I dealt with cared, and were willing to help. I had parents involved simply because they knew that I cared about their child. Yes, some were not helping matters much. Some were adding to the situation their children were in, but most were trying. You see, it is SO easy to judge. It is so easy to say that students and their parents don't deserve the time of day when they won't help themselves. But have you been in their shoes? The kid that never finishes work and falls asleep in class everyday is exhausted because he is working long hours after-school to help his dad pay the bills; his mom left when he was a baby. The mom that shows up to every meeting, but never seems to really help make any changes at home-she is battling a terminal illness and just the fact that she is there is so much more than many others would do. The teenage girl that talks only about her boyfriend? Dad has never been around and her mom is too occupied at home with a special needs son. Most parents want to help as much as they possibly can. Some do not know how to help, most are overwhelmed, and some I have seen so grateful that a teacher cares about their child, they were hugging me and crying because no one else had seen the value in their kid.  Which makes me angry. How does a kid make it to 10th or 11th grade with not a single teacher telling their parents that they have the ability to succeed??!! Sometimes, sadly, it is the system.

Teachers are asked to do far too much in too little time. Some would add for too little pay. I never cared a ton about the pay, even when I needed it, but I understand that the pay is pretty dismal. Most teacher's have a Master's degree which takes 5-6 years of college. This means student loan debt of anywhere from $50-100,000. That's insane right there. When I was teaching full time, I could barely make my minimum student loan payment, but that is another issue altogether. I left partly for my own desires to do something else, but I left partly because of shear exhaustion and burn-out. To be the type of teacher I wanted to be, the type my students deserved took way more than 40 hours a week!!! There was never a day without planning, grading, implementing or learning new things myself. Sometimes I enjoyed that. Sometimes I am asked how I can leave a career with such good hours for a career in which I will likely work my share of night shifts, weekends, and holidays. I want to laugh. I already worked all of those.  I honestly put in 50-60+ hours a week easily, and everything above 40 was uncompensated. If I work over 40 hours a week as an RN you bet your butt it will be paid.  Oh, and don't get me started on that little "perk" that teachers of older students get. The mythical prep period. It is supposed to be 45-50 minutes a day of time you get to do teacher things like grading and lesson planning. In reality that will not happen. You may have another class using your classroom during that period, if budgets are real bad, you will be pulled to sub for someone else during your prep, or you will inevitably have to go talk with administration- "come see me during your prep." Prep period is a lie.

 Society sees teachers as having so much time off. You get a WHOLE summer they say! Umm no. Summers are spent prepping for the next school year, attending mandatory training classes during your "time off" and taking college courses required to keep your teaching license current.  I have the utmost respect for my former colleagues still in the field. You do work that matters.

On the other hand, can you blame me for wanting a career in which I can still help people, but at the end of my shift I can clock out, go home, and not think about work again until my next day??  It is not the students, it is rarely the parents, sometimes it is the system, but usually it just the pure expectations and devouring of time.

At the end of the day, I do miss it. But at the end of the day no matter how much my career is a calling or full of helping others, it is still a job.  It was full of too much time worried about other people's children, and not enough on my own.  It was time spent away from my family-time I will never get back. The #1 reason I left a job touted as being family friendly? It was anything but.

So what, you may ask, is nursing school really like?

So what, you may ask, is nursing school really like? 

I am past the first month in nursing school. I have passed my nursing midterm with an A, and I'm thrilled about that! I am now midway through week five which means I am over halfway through the entire first term of the program. It feels like just yesterday that I was questioning whether or not I should even do this… it feels like just yesterday that I locked the door of my classroom for the last time and told myself I wouldn't look back. It feels like just yesterday that I cried wondering if I had made the right decision.

 I have to tell you that I have never been so happy (on a personal level, I mean I have been thrilled family wise, relationship wise....you get my drift), I have never felt so challenged mentally and physically to do things right, to get things done the correct way, and I've never felt so actively engaged in any academic material that I have ever learned in college. While I enjoyed getting my bachelor's and my master's degrees, I never found it difficult. I liked some of the classes quite a bit and the professors and my classmates, but I guess it never really felt like home- but I didn't realize that until now.  But I will never regret my background in education. It has already helped me tremendously. 

 I walk into the nursing building and I feel at home. And I should-some days I am there so long it feels like I live there!  It is part of me.  I'm smiling on the way to school most days, though not all. I really truly enjoy my professors, and have such a camaraderie with my classmates that I never felt possible.  People that I can talk to  about the ins and outs of something that I am passionate about. It is a really good feeling!  Though I still have far to go in this program, and in my nursing career of course, I can tell you that it feels real. There's no other way to describe it.  With in just one week, I have cried because I am overwhelmed, I have jumped with joy over understanding a concept or getting something down, I have witnessed a patient in the process of dying and the sorrow of their family,  and I've witnessed things too gross to really talk about with most normal people, though I thought they were amazingly cool! Nursing is real. The few days I have spent in the hospital left me with the same feeling I had in my CNA hospital rotation-you leave kind of in a daze, amazed that life for many other people has still been carrying on outside those hospital doors. Nursing school makes me feel real. It is such a good fit for me. I love nursing school, despite the huge stress, seemingly unrealistic expectations, time crunches, sadness and anxiety...or maybe, maybe because of all these things, knowing at the end of the day that not only can I do this, but I can make a difference to a patient.

Almost a month in!!!

Almost 4 weeks in! I cannot believe that I have been in nursing school for almost a month. I am starting to make wonderful new friends with some of the girls in the program, and it is so nice to have people that understand exactly what is going on in my life. I have only wondered once or twice, why in the heck am I putting myself through this?! There was one day where I wasn't feeling well, the lecture was boring, etc. etc. that I felt like I couldn't keep my head above water, and I thought why did I not just stick with teaching? But most days are not like that. Most days there is something that holds my interest. I loved learning about holistic care, and it was refreshing to know how open-minded nurses are expected to be about complementary and alternative medicine. I really enjoyed learning about education Ha ha ha! No surprise there, and how to talk to the patient about their health and wellness. I am hardly nervous at all anymore to do a blood pressure and to take vital signs. 

Monday is our midterm for my first nursing class, and I am both nervous and excited. I know I am super weird, but I have always loved taking tests, and have normally done pretty well on tests. But I am nervous because I have no idea what to expect and I know they will hit us with some of the questions where there is more than one right answer and which is the most right of the correct answers. (Just to say that is confusing!)

 It has been amazing to me just to see the change in the way that people talk to me knowing that I am a nursing student. My dental hygienist, the dental assistant, my OB/GYN, and her assistant, have all talked to me with a different level of respect, like I understand the medical field a little bit better. It is really nice. It's almost like I am now part of this big group that we call healthcare (I guess I am!), and it really feels like I belong here. 

Next week we start learning about infant care, pregnancy, and women's health. Just today I started a binder with all of the things that I think I am interested in,  and want to keep it up with my own notes and information about different programs for advanced practice nursing -just so that I can refer to that as I become interested in different things or cross them off my list. I can tell you that though I have no experience yet so far what has sparked my interest the most in talking about it and reading about it is women's health and or Pediatrics. 

Well, off to go study for my microbiology test tonight and nursing mid-term Monday! Thanks for stopping by to read!

Just keep swimming...thoughts about nursing school so far

I am partway through my second week of nursing school.  The main thing that I want to say, is that while it is busy, it is doable.  I know that I am just beginning, and that things will get much busier and the material will get more difficult, but so far a big part of nursing school is being able to manage your time. Just because we just started does not mean that we are getting things easy. There is tons of reading to be done, activities to complete, labs to practice the skills for, and projects already assigned. For the most part, I have to say, I am loving it. The instructors are actually surprisingly kind, and told us that they have a lot invested in us. Did you know that one third of the total cost of a nurse's training is their tuition during nursing school?  The other 2/3 is invested by the employer. I learned that a few days ago, and it goes to show that that's one of the reasons that the instructors and the school, as well as the hospitals around us want to see us succeed. After reading some horror stories about students all being super competitive and mean to each other, I am pleased to say that so far my class has been nothing but kind, friendly, and helpful to one another. Seems we are all in this together.

I am very blessed to not have to be working during the program. Some people are trying to work part time, and I cannot imagine working at all especially when I have two kids at home. Barrett is already picking up a lot of the slack by keeping the house clean, chauffeuring the kids around to their activities, and keeping dinners made. I have also started to tap into my frozen meals that I had prepared over the summer. Those are for nights that I am home before Barrett. I am such an all or nothing person that sometimes it is hard for me to know when to stop studying! There isn't a ton of material yet, but I know that we need to know it fairly well.  I also need to be able to spend time with my family and my children. So far I have set up Friday nights and all day Saturday to be time with my kids and or time with Barrett. This has worked thus far but I've only had one weekend and I know that sometimes I will need to tap into that time for extra studying. I figure that everybody needs some personal time or fun time. It can't be all work, or we will get burned out before even being a nurse. I have started to get discouraged just once or twice so far, and then I remind myself of things that I've been through that have been much tougher. My first year of teaching I was a brand-new teacher with no experience, not even student teaching, because I was hired as an intern. During that time when I started I had a two-month-old baby and a two-year-old at home. My husband at the time was not very supportive of me being in school (that's the understatement of the year), and I was going to school full-time as well to work to attain my teaching license. This had me driving an hour one way to Salem two nights a week (after not sleeping through the night and then working all day at a new career) for three hour night classes as well as going in on Saturdays. I also had a class online. And I think to myself, that if I could do that, (and it must've been pure adrenaline getting me through), then I can do anything.

One thing that I've been really excited to learn about is opportunities in nursing. We have talked just a little bit about some of the different specialties with the instructors, or at least my group has. We've talked about going on further than our associates degrees and what there is to offer for people who go further. It is hard exactly to know what I want to do when we have yet to set foot in the hospital. That is coming up! In just two short weeks, and I start on the oncology floor. I'm very excited about that, because it's one of the areas that I want to rule out (or in!). One thing that keeps resonating with me is that the instructors talk a lot about intuition and knowing when to listen to your gut feeling. Part of that, is the ideas that you have about different areas of nursing often before you've even experienced them. Many areas are a love it or hate it thing. While sometimes you will indeed change your mind and decide that you love something you thought you would hate or vice versa, often people have a little voice that directs them to what they think they will like or to what they already love.  I am trying to jot down the feelings that I get about different areas so that I can keep track of how I have felt about them. So far, I am not interested at all in intensive care nursing. There's something about the ICU that I do not want to work with. I think it's the fact that there are so many complex machines that are helping keep  people alive. I am not interested in learning how to run them, although I'm sure I will get some overview of that. So it goes to show that I'm also not interested in any of the areas that are highly technical. Some of the areas that I think I will be interested in are: labor and delivery, possibly emergency department (it definitely goes with my need for variety personality), anything that involves lots of teaching like community health nursing or perhaps working for a community health organization like Red Cross, and possibly… There's this little voice right now that keeps whispering to me Pediatrics. And I smile and laugh because this is the girl who never wanted kids, and then had two and loves being a mom. The girl who never wanted kids and became a teacher, and loved interacting with all of the students.  So some of you may be laughing and nodding and saying you're not surprised at all, but to me it comes as a surprise and I keep kind of pushing away the little voice, and then I remind myself that the little voice is often very important. So I'm excited to try out pediatrics when I can, and I don't really know where to go with that if I love it.  Perhaps a pediatric nurse practitioner is an option. I have not completely ruled out being a nurse practitioner, but I keep leaning towards doing something that's more in education like eventually being a nursing instructor. Surprise, surprise.

I am so excited and blessed to have begun this journey. I think that the two years will fly by (although I am sure there  will be days that feel like they aren't flying). I could not do this without the support from my wonderful husband, my parents, and our grandparents that are so willing to help us with the kids and anything else. I also couldn't do this without the understanding of my kids. So far they have been wonderful and understanding my need to study and very curious about what mom is learning at school. It's kind of funny. Because I keep having to tell them mom doesn't really know anything yet. But they are more than willing to listen and to let me practice on them. I love the health professions building. Did I mention that it has a coffee shop?? Yeah, I probably did. That's all for now.