Nurses Make a Difference

I entered this essay for a nursing scholarship. It was tough to get it down to just 300 words, because I could have said SO much more! I wanted to share it on here so that others could read it as well. It is basically about how a nurse can make a difference, or in my case, how one did. Hope you enjoy!

 I remember the night like it was yesterday. 7 ½ months into my first pregnancy, something became drastically wrong. I was being prepped for an emergency cesarean section after my baby quit moving. Though 5 ½ weeks early, the baby had a better chance now outside the womb than in. For mere minutes, I was allowed some quiet before the surgery as I got myself prepared. It was the eye of the storm, eerily peaceful amid the sure hustle going on outside my room. My nurse clutched my hand as we implored God to protect my unborn son in the next hours and days to come.

Matthew was born white as a sheet, not breathing on his own, but his steady heart never faltering. I had what is known as a fetal-maternal hemorrhage, and my son had lost 2/3 of his total blood volume through a tear in my umbilical cord!  In the first 24 hours Matthew had three blood transfusions. A machine helped him to breathe and intravenous lines nourished him. After a precarious first 24 hours, followed by nine days in the NICU, I was able to take my son home. Jody began as my nurse and floated to the NICU to take care of my son over the next week. She explained when I needed answers and calmed when I needed peace. During a terrifying time for me, she was steady. Now almost nine years later, with not one, but two healthy sons, I have never forgotten the power a nurse can have on one life. During that time in the hospital my son was saved by great doctors, and I was saved by a compassionate nurse. Within me she planted the seed of how I aspire to help others during those nights they will never forget.

Who Reviews Beauty Products and Forgets Lipstick?! Apparently Me...

I was looking back over my post from yesterday and realized that I forgot to talk about lipstick!! I did not leave it out on purpose, because I do wear it. If there are any products I LOVE to play around with, it is eye-shadow, nail polish and, you guessed it, lipstick! I tend to wear peachy corals in the summer, but ever since I discovered red lipstick a few years ago, it is my favorite! Below are some options for both. I am also a Chapstick junkie, and keep multiple "flavors" in my purse, though my favorite is peppermint Chapstick brand chapstick, with the cute candy-cane wrapper.

Here are some of my favorites, as well as a few pictures that show me wearing other products I mentioned (please ignore my wrinkles...oh, and the bruise across my nose).

• Cover Girl Blast Flipstick in Smooch- ($7.98) Great price for a brick red on one end and a salmony color on the other. I wear them each separate, or layered together. I also use the lighter color to mix over some of my other darker reds to tone them down.
• Revlon ColorBurst Matte Balm in Standout-($8.90) This is indeed a "standout" red. I like that it is a big lip crayon, and goes on as smooth as Chapstick.
• Mary Kay (Sweet Nectar) Creme Lipstick-($15)-A pale coral with some shimmer, perfect with tanned skin and a sundress for summer!
• Revlon Just Bitten Kissable Balm Stain in Adore ($6.48)-This is a red balm, lip crayon, that goes on smooth and sheer. It is my everyday color, and it is buildable for darker red. I tend to wear just as a light stain.
• Tarte LipSurgence Lip Creme (Set of 4 for $59). I have this set, and I use ALL of the colors. My favorite though, is Wonder, a pinkish salmon, and you can get it alone for about $17.

  

  Curly Sexy Hair Curling Creme

  

  This is my new Julep polish in Harriet.

I am wearing the Tarte foundation and blush, Cover Girl Concealer, Mary Kay Translucent Powder, Mary Kay Bronzer, Bare Minerals In Hyacinth, Tarte eyeliner in Fig, Lights! Camera! Lashes! Tarte Mascara, and Tarte Wonder LipSurgence Lip Creme.

A better look at Hyacinth shadow and Fig liner. This is just one coat of mascara. 

Beauty Products you Can't Live Without!

I love reading in women's magazines annual or seasonal reviews of the best beauty products. Sometimes though, I have to admit that I wind up dismayed by some obscure, hard to find wonder product or the sky-high prices. It got me thinking, what would an average, working mom, like myself, recommend to friends as must have beauty items? So, I took a pad and paper, and wrote down my favorite products by category: hair, nails, body, face, and make-up. I use a lot of products, but  I am not an over-the-top cosmetic user by any means, and while I splurge on some items, many are drugstore prices. If I have splurged, it is worth it (in my opinion)! I have provided helpful links to sites that sell these products, because if you are interested in any, it can be a huge time eater to try to hunt them down. No, I don't make any commission off of any of these brands (nor do I work for Amazon, but I am a Prime member, so free shipping is great!), but I DO love them, and hope you will as well! By each product I described by problem areas as well, so that if you have similar needs, you can see what works, and I listed the normal retail prices.

Hopefully as you make-over your beauty products for summer, you may find a few that are on my list that work wonders for you.

Hair

I have naturally thick, wavy hair. It is NOT soft, more coarse, and it is long. My hair is prone to frizziness and tangles. It is also very dry, and because of this I can get away with washing it just once every 3-4 days (and it looks it's best on the 3rd or 4th day!). I tend to flat-iron it straight, wear it naturally wavy, or put big curls or small spirals in it (I like to change it up!).

• Infusium 23 Leave in Conditioner Spray ($3.97 at Wal-Mart, price varies)-So I can get a comb through it!
• Holistix Lite Oil Treatment ($31.99)-This is a splurge, but it lasts forever, and leaves hair softer with less fly-aways. Oh, and it smells A-Mazing!
• Straight Sexy Hair Flat Iron Spray ($14.81)-This keeps my hair straight for 3+ days!!!
  
• Curly Sexy Hair Curling Creme ($13.27)-for when I want my natural waves defined and not frizzy

Body
I am prone to dry, itchy skin, and it gets irritated pretty easily.

• St. Ives Oatmeal and Shea Butter Body Lotion($4.78)-I use religiously, every day.
• Philosophy Pure Grace Body Wash and Lotion ($71 for the super-size set)-Splurge! I can't wear almost any scents, because I get migraines. This is a fresh, soft scent that I love. (But I am all out, Mom? If you are reading this...?)
• Philosophy Pure Grace Fragrance ($46 or $65 for larger size)-This is the ONLY scent I ever wear!

Face
I am beginning to get wrinkles around my eyes and forehead, have combination dry/oily skin, and still break out more often than I would like!

• Oil of Olay Sensitive Foaming Face Wash ($4.97)-You can't get a better deal than a face wash for less than $5! Takes off make-up, and lathers nicely. I have read in multiple beauty articles that face cleanser does not spend enough time in contact with your skin to make it worth splurging on a name brand one. I believe it.
• Neutrogena Rapid Wrinkle Repair ($21.25)-This is my go-to, everyday moisturizer that I use morning and night. It has SPF 30, and makes my skin feel dewy. I have tried cheaper and MUCH more expensive products, and I love this one.
  
• Avon Anew Clinical Line Eraser Treatment ($12.75)-This is for wrinkles, but I use ALL over my face every day after I use my moisturizer.Goes on super smooth, and feels like it creates a nice canvas for make-up.
• Derma e Hydrating Mist ($15 for 2)- I use this to set my make-up, as well as to refresh my skin 1-2 times a day. It is like a drink of water for dry skin, and helps my make-up not look cakey when my skin gets too dry.
• ROC Deep Wrinkle Night Cream ($19.97)-I use this nightly, and sometimes in the AM too (but you have to be careful because Retinol makes skin more prone to sunburn). 
• Mary Kay Clear Proof Acne Treatment Gel ($10)-Seems to minimize break-out time. I'll take it!

Nails
I have strong nails that I can grow pretty long, or I often wear short with bright colors on them as well. I love to experiment with nail color and be creative!

• Gelish Gel Nail Color ($11-15)- A splurge, but I love gel nails, because they last for up to 3 weeks without chipping, though you have to have your own UV light to set the color (at least with this brand). I honestly use it for pedicures far more than manicures because of how long the polish can last! I tend to want to change my nails after a few days to a week. This is the lamp I use: USpicy Nail Dryer UV Light ($29.99).  I use this monthly, and a pedicure would've cost as much as one month of use! Plus, I enjoy doing my nails. 
• Julep Nail Color- I just joined the Julep site, and am trying them out. For $19.99/month you get 2 new nail colors and a new beauty product each month.  At first glance that seemed like a splurge until I realized that the random nail colors and make-up I buy each month likely adds up to way more! I received my first month free, and am already in LOVE with the coral and pale blue nail colors that came. The application wand is more user-friendly than many other nail polishes, so- so far so good. 
  

Make-up
As you can see, I am not loyal to any one brand, though do have some favorites. I like to think that I shoot for a sophisticated but natural make-up look on most days, and glam it up to head out with my hubby or friends. While I do wear make-up on a daily basis, I can be ready (shower, hair, clothes and face) in an hour most days, so I think that's reasonable! I tend to play around with eye shadow colors and liners the most so I listed my favorites. And I ALWAYS use an eyelash curler.

• Tarte Amazonian Clay Full-Coverage Foundation with SPF-at $38 this is a bit of a splurge for me, but the foundation transforms the look of my skin, and I can determine how light or how heavy I make it with the included kabuki brush. LOVE. Though not waterproof, even seems to still have light coverage after swimming in a pool or ocean.
  
• Cover Girl Invisible Concealer ($5.94)-inexpensive, all-day coverage of under-eye circles and blemishes. 
• Mary Kay Translucent Loose Powder ($16)-I use over foundation for a polished look. A little lasts a long time!
• Mary Kay Mineral Bronzing Powder ($18)-I use year-round! This is a build-able color for a sun-kissed look. It also makes skin look dewy/luminous. 
• Tarte Amazonian Clay 12 Hr Blush-a bit of a splurge ($26), but I love blush! I am too fair/pale/washed out without blush. If I had to only wear 2 products (why, I would do that, who knows??), it would be blush and mascara. I use Blissful color. And it does last all day!
• Bare Minerals Glimpse or Glimmer Eye Shadows ($14)-Glimpse shadows have some sparkle, and glimmer are full of sparkle. My favorite shades are: Celery (a luminous light green), Chameleon (a peacock teal blue), Hyacinth (shimmery lavender), and Lust (shimmery silver/grey). 
• Almay Intense i Color Smoky i kit For Greens ($7.99)-I love playing up my green eyes, and the shades in this are perfect!

*** I do have to add that I use a white eyeliner to line the inside corner (by the tear ducts) of my eyes, but it is so worn I could not see the brand! I think any white liner would do to make eyes look more awake though.

• Tarte Smolder Eyes Amazonian Clay Eye-liner ($22) for these colors on QVC and $40 plus shipping for other colors on Amazon. I like Brown and Fig. They last all day and are (mostly) waterproof. Go on smooth, and the eye-pencil is more of a crayon and easy to use. 
• Mary Kay Limited Edition Turquoise Waters ($10) this eye crayon is a fun pop of turquoise perfect for summer. The color is discontinued, but can be found on Amazon. 
• Neutrogena Nourishing Eyeliner-Black ($7.47)-when I want black eyeliner, this is my go-to. I love the smudging tool for smoky eyes. 
• Tarte Lights! Camera! Lashes! Volumizing Mascara Duo ($30 for 2, surprisingly affordable for Tarte!)-This is my everyday mascara. It goes on smooth, even with multiple coats. 
• Maybelline Great Lash Waterproof Blackest Black ($4.44)-Can't beat less than $5 for waterproof mascara that does not run or smudge! This has been my go-to since high school!

What products are must-haves for you??

In Honor of Father's Day

In honor of Father's Day coming soon, I decided to share an essay that I have also entered into a magazine contest about "why my husband is amazing" (for a chance to win a trip for 2 to Aruba!). I don't normally enter contests, but since this one is based on sharing from my heart, I decided to have a go at it. I am sure lots of people write in though. I love what I wrote, to honor my sweet husband, an amazing man that didn't ask to be a father, yet does so each day in ways that continue to amaze me.


Get your tissues ready, readers.

Here's to you, Barrett.

I met my husband while in the process of a painful divorce after a 10 year marriage. We bonded over long phone calls discussing books, movies, spirituality, life, and our shared love of camping and quiet time. Though Barrett and I connected instantly, it was a few months before I would bring him around my sons, then 2 and 5. Divorce is tough enough on kids, and I didn’t want them to see me with just anyone. For this reason, most of our dates at first were when the kids were in bed. When we began to get serious, I figured I needed to bring him around my children, because if something didn’t jive, I would have to call it quits. I invited Barrett for a trip to the zoo. We hadn’t seen eye-to-eye the night before on the phone when I insisted that the outing had to be planned around my younger son’s nap-time. Barrett had never been married, and had no children, and I was worried that these little details (common to a parent in the trenches so to speak) would be lost on him or even be a point of contention. Barrett arrived the next morning bright and early though, but I still had it in my head that this poor, sweet man, unbeknownst to him, was on trial. As happens often with two-year olds, mine decided to have a complete meltdown in the food court at the zoo. I was mortified. As any woman who has been through divorce knows, if you have children- when you begin dating again, you are no longer truly single, but a package deal. Barrett didn’t bat an eyelash at my son’s (normal) toddler behavior. He stayed calm and even jovial, lifting the boys up to see the animals better. It was then with my older son perched on his shoulders, and my younger clinging to his hand, that I knew I was in love.

We married just a few short months later, and Barrett has transformed into a loving husband and father. That was almost 3 years ago. He cooks breakfast each morning for the boys before they get on the school bus, helps coach their soccer teams, chaperones field trips, and attends Cub Scout activities. He teaches them how to shoot a bow and arrow, how to set up a tent, and how to build things with their hands. Barrett is gentle, yet firm, loving and unwaveringly steady. Most of all, after a rocky beginning of life for my sons, where I was in a very unhealthy, angry relationship with their father, Barrett shows them how to treat and cherish a woman. Barrett is not afraid to encourage my dreams and success. Because of my wonderfully hot and amazing husband, I even get to pursue my dream of attending nursing school this fall. When asked by others if he has any children, or will ever have children of his own, Barrett simply answers, “I already have two amazing sons.”

Don't be Afraid to Let Go and EDIT Your Goals

It is approaching that time. After today, I have just 2 more days with students. When I took this job in January, I was counting the days then. It wasn't a job I really desired, and it was something to work at while I waited to hear about nursing school. When we hit 40 days in my classroom, we started the countdown to summer. Amazingly, even though I have certainly had my share of days here that felt like they'd last forever, it seems like just yesterday.  It has been a good assignment. My eyes have been opened to what it is like for kids on the other end of the spectrum, so to speak. I have worked with teens in such heart-breaking situations, I have gone home and cried on more than one occasion. I have wanted to take more than one of them home with me and offer them a better chance. I have dealt with probation officers, therapists, social workers,  and drug and alcohol counselors. I have had students on behavior plans for anger issues, aggression and even harassment. There have been tears, hurt, and disappointment in here. But there have also been high fives, hugs, shared meals and accomplishment. I told Barrett there was no way in heck that I would shed a tear when I turned in my keys next week to my dungeon, Room 5. Pretty sure I lied. 

I have been blessed with this job. Not only did it help Barrett and I pay off some bills and take a family vacation, but it helped to change me. I thought that leaving East Linn was how I wanted to quit teaching, but even in that there was bitterness and some disappointment in the way a few things turned out when I left, and admittedly it has been hard for me to even be back on campus to visit much (though I do keep in touch with many of my former students). Now I realize that this was where I should quit teaching-not because I am upset, longing for change, longing for more, or because it was the best year ever (because honestly, I have had better!). No, it is time for me to move on because I have grown more. My heart has been filled by not so broken kids from oh so broken homes, and by my biggest challenges of students coming to respect me and share with me. I will tell you what-it is a GOOD day when a kid that hates school is excited about what they have been able to do, and an even better day when a student known for, well shall we say disagreeable behavior,  tells me I am the best teacher they have ever had. Sometimes you have to leave before you are ready. Could I still teach? I have had people question me leaving the profession, because I am a great teacher (because I care). So, yes I could stay, but I feel there is a different path for me. I feel called to go elsewhere. That's the best explanation. It's a heart thing.

And sometimes you have to let go, because we can't be and do everything.  I will always be a teacher, always keep up my license, but I am moving on now. Life is like that. This Saturday I will walk into East Linn with my head held high to watch some of my favorite students ever graduate. It is a good way to wrap things up, I think. Did you know that I held on to my letter to accept or reject a spot in OHSU for TWO months? Even after I knew I was going to attend Lane, I kept waiting to send in my rejection. It's like I wanted that option too. When I finally put it in the mail this week, it made me think of the goals that I have felt like I had to let go of in my life. I wrote them down. Since I am a very dramatic person (!), I wanted to float my old goals down the river, or watch them burn. But instead, I share them with you and I realize they have not gone away, only been edited, because that is part of the entire point of life I think. Learn, grow, change, repeat.

What Would Your Timeline Look Like?

The other day at work, I was helping a student created a timeline about President Theodore Roosevelt's life. We printed out this document we found online that listed hundreds of events in his life. We tried to read through them and decide which were the most important to put on this timeline poster he was making. 

It really got me thinking that if my life was displayed in a timeline (and I don't mean the timeline that Facebook has that has a random activities on it from other people) what would be on it? What events would I include or would be included that were life changing?

 As we waded through the events for the Teddy Roosevelt timeline, it was decided that we would use things that were life altering, things that had they not happened he may not have been the person he had become. If that makes any sense at all? For example we thought it was important to note that he had once been a mayor and the governor of New York before ever being a president. But enough of your mini-History lesson for the day. 

I think back over my life thus far and think of the some of the events just in my adulthood or close to, that have completely altered the course of my life. In the summer before my junior year, my best friend and I decided completely randomly one afternoon to convince her mother to drive us 20 minutes or so to the mall. It was that day that I met my first husband. In the spring of 1999 when I was still a junior in high school, I got engaged. For some reason my now ex-husband and I thought it would be a great idea to experience our brand-new life as adults after graduation together. If that hadn't happened, I wonder where I would be today. But I realize that it HAD to happen to give me Matthew and Isaiah, and a lot of the experiences that made me who I am. 

I read somewhere about the ripple effect, and I loved the descriptions I came across. Basically it states that every action taken in a life creates hundreds (maybe even thousands) of events that happen just because the first event happened. It's an interesting What If type game to play. For example, for me, if I'd never married young, I never would have moved to Oregon at all. Which means I could not have met Barrett or his family. If I had never had children, I can't imagine having ever been a teacher OR wanting to be a nurse. It's interesting, but not worth dwelling on. What is important, is that we know that every action we make (especially the bigger decisions) can impact the rest of our lives, and how we treat other people can greatly impact theirs. Read Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver for a powerful fictional take on this that will leave you thinking about the story for weeks after reading (perhaps longer). 

Anyhow, back to the timeline. I think some very important dates in my life would also be these. What would be on your timeline?

 These are but a few moments that have created a ripple effect in my life.: 

• Sometime summer 2000-I forfeited a scholarship to become a pharmacist, to begin teaching prerequisites. 
• September 2005-I had my miracle Matthew, making me a mama, and opening my eyes to what could have happened. This also greatly renewed my interest in being a nurse.
• April 2008-I became mama to a second son, Isaiah, and it cemented the fact that I was, and AM intended( I believe) to be a mother of sons. :) This is a good thing.
• July 2010-"Celebrated" a 10 year wedding anniversary mostly unhappily. To me this was a huge defining moment, and likely to my ex as well. 
• December 2010-separated from my 1st husband after 10 years married and 12 together. 
• January 2011 AND August 2011-I was lucky enough to meet and then marry the best friend I will ever have, and to know love like I had never imagined.
• June 2012-I decided to leave teaching as a profession, and though I have come back to it, this was the time I decided that I needed to pursue becoming a nurse.
• April 2014-Accepted in nursing school. You know the rest. 
  

The Hardest Thing About Co-Parenting...

The worst thing about co-parenting when you are a divorcee is not dealing with the new step-parent, or bitterness and arguments between your ex and yourself (though those things DO happen), or even disagreements over how to parent your shared children. No, the worst thing about co-parenting is the jealousy, the jealousy over what the other parent gets to do with your kids, what vacations they will go on, and what cool activities they do that the kids will always remember doing with them (and not you). 

Tomorrow night the kids go with their dad and get to go to Disneyland for a week.   I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous. I am jealous that he gets to be the one to experience Disneyland with them, that he was able to put together a trip before we could manage to (it has been on our list, but is SOOOO expensive!). But the kids are very excited, and I know that they have a really good time. Their grandmother gets to go too, and I know they will be in great hands.

Deep down I also know that Barrett and I are not the best people to go on a Disneyland vacation in general. We are the ones that are more likely to take the kids somewhere else where we don't have to stand in endless lines waiting to go on rides, -though we both like rides,  just hate people. Maybe that's the part about co-parenting that I just have to make sense of.  Maybe instead of being jealous, I can tell myself that both their dad and I get to share with the kids what we feel is important, and not try to replicate each experience that the other one may  create for them. 

Maybe that's a good thing. I have a dream of taking the kids to Mexico.  Oh I know, I know,  it isn't the safest place to go, but we're talking to sheltered resorts somewhere, not to Mexico City or anything! I want them to know the joy and adventure of international travel. I want them to understand that getting a passport is more than just a cool little book with stamps, but a pass if you will for many possible experiences. I want them to know the irritation (and even some nervousness) of waiting to go through the customs line. I want

them to go somewhere where they can get a glimpse of other cultures (even just a small one) and see the sparkling turquoise water and experience the warm ocean with tropical fish. So maybe I need to concede Disneyland. Maybe their dad can have Disneyland and all of its glory, and instead of trying to repeat it later myself, maybe I can show them something else, something that both Barrett and I have fallen in love with. Maybe I should view co-parenting instead as an opportunity for each parent to pass on what they think is a cool experience to the kids, to pass on our own passions, without competing. Maybe I should realize that this actually makes the kids really lucky that they get twice as many things to enjoy. 

So, right now I am not the cool parent. Right now I cannot compete with the lure of Disney. So I have decided I am not going to try. We shouldn't compete on trips. Every trip is important, because it allows the kids to make memories. Instead, I will focus on what I can give the kids in the future. I would like to be the parent that shows the kids other countries (Mexico to start, but Europe and South America, and Africa...someday). I would like to grow a love of the world and all it has to offer. I would also like to take them along on volunteer missions to other countries (when they are teens) so that they can see how other people live and why it is important that we care and do what we can to help. So, right now, I will be uncool, and they will make wonderful memories with their dad. And I will concede my jealousy and realize that this is a good thing.