T Minus 3 Days...And I Need my Feet to Warm!!

It is just three days until I start nursing school! I am nervous and excited to begin this journey finally. It feels like I have been waiting a LONG time to start. I will admit that I have been having what could only be called "cold feet" the past few weeks as the start has gotten closer. I have been having dreams about teaching jobs (last night I dreamed my favorite principal called me up and said, "Come work for me again," and I said, "I will for you!"-mind you this person works nowhere near here now), and nightmares about balancing everything else in  my life. I have asked Barrett repeatedly to remind me why I am doing this. This is not to say that I don't want to, merely that I am a bundle of nerves. As I scour the nursing forums online, I realize that many people get cold feet about school starting...at least that is some comfort.

Last week the homework already began in preparation for the first week of school. We were assigned 211 pages of reading. It is not hard, and mostly review from CNA stuff, but it is still quite a bit.  I joked that I was glad that we had a week's notice, and seasoned nurses told me that the amount of reading is always unrealistic and unattainable, and to get used to taking really good notes and skimming. Thank God I feel I already have those skills thanks to prior years worth of college. I am almost done with the assignment, and I have mostly saved it for when the kids are at school and B is at work. I know I won't be able to do that once school is in full swing, but while I can...

On the fence...

This last week of "freedom" has been the hardest on me. It is like waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for the drastic change in my days where I am in school 5 days a week, and studying even more. One of the hardest things for me is the lure of teaching. I left because I wanted something different, but every-time I am at the boys' school I think of how at home I am in the atmosphere. Just a few days ago I told B never-mind, I could find a teaching position or sub until one opened up and my fingers itched to browse EdZapp and see what was open. But I can't be on the fence anymore (is it possible that this girl has some commitment issues??). I can't be a teacher and a nurse...at least not at this moment. I have to commit to the next 2-3 grueling years and find my niche in nursing (which very well could eventually be in nursing education down the road).  It has been a crazy, crazy journey, and I am not sure what I am so afraid of. Barrett asked me yesterday if I was afraid of failing, and I said, "I am not the type who fails." And I am not. I am not worried at all that I will fail any portion of school, but I am worried that I will fail my family when they need my time and efforts. That is my biggest worry. Keep me, and us in your prayers as this adventure begins. The next time I write I will be a full-fledged nursing student. EEK!!!